Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, January 5, 1916Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, January 5, 1916
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Jimmy became aware that the noise on the opposite side of the playground
was ceasing, and soon, from the corner of his eye, he saw Jones minimus
detach himself from the crowd. "Half a mo'," he heard Jones minimus say;
"I want to get a knotted handkerchief," and he saw him hurry into the
school. As he emerged he flourished the knotted handkerchief, but when
delivering the verdict to Jimmy that he would have to run the gauntlet
three times to the tune of the knotted handkerchiefs of Form II., he
tried to smuggle into Jimmy's hands an exercise-book which he said Jimmy
could stuff up his back; it would stick there if Jimmy buttoned his
jacket, he said, and it would take the sting off a bit. Jimmy had to
bite his lip as he refused the exercise-book, and then with head erect
and lips no longer trembling he went forth to face the ordeal.
Form II. had arranged themselves in two ranks, facing one another, and
the knots in the handkerchiefs were firm and hard. "You have got to bunk
through and back again and then down again," said Jones minimus in a
hoarse whisper.
The Biffer was at the head of one rank, and had got his handkerchief
slung over his shoulder in happy readiness for the first blow.
"Are you ready? Go!" shouted Form II. in one voice.
At the word "Go!" Jimmy pulled his hands out of his pockets--he was glad
his mother wasn't there to see him--and with head still up and eyes to
the front he walked slowly up the double lines and as slowly down them.
The Biffer got in a good one, he got in two before Jimmy was out of
reach, and he then changed the handkerchief to his left hand in
readiness for the return journey. Arrived at the end of the lines, Jimmy
turned on his heel and began to walk even more slowly than at first.
But there was no sting in the blows this time; all the zest seemed to
have gone out of the affair; and, but for the whack the Biffer gave,
Jimmy never felt anything. The third time down was a farce, for, after
Jimmy had deliberately stopped opposite the Biffer in order to let him
have as many as his injured soul required, no one touched him. In fact
they were all shaking hands with Jimmy, who was now his smiling self
once more and ready to play with the best of them, when suddenly the
Biffer took it into his head to make a joke.
"Perhaps he _is_ a German," said the Biffer, and waited for the general
laugh to follow his sally.
But the laugh didn't come; instead there was a dead silence.
Who was the Biffer--a new boy at that--to call anyone a German?
Instinctively a ring was formed and the Biffer found himself in the
middle of it.
Jimmy took off his coat and gave it to Jones minimus, who danced for
sheer delight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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