We hope she knows her KINGSLEY:--"Be good, sweet maid." * * * * * A New Gas Attack? "With whatever object, offensive or defensive, the German General Staff is concentrating all EGGS SEVENPENCE EACH." _Glasgow Evening Times._ * * * * * "Kind Motherly Person wanted urgently to mind baby girl during day; easy distance from Reservoir:."--_Auckland Star._ So, if the child becomes too troublesome---- * * * * * To the Memory of Field-Marshal Earl Kitchener. BORN JUNE 24TH, 1850. DIED ON SERVICE JUNE 5TH, 1916. Soldier of England, you who served her well And in that service, silent and apart, Achieved a name that never lost its spell Over your country's heart;-- Who saw your work accomplished ere at length Shadows of evening fell, and creeping Time Had bent your stature or resolved the strength That kept its manhood's prime;-- Great was your life, and great the end you made, As through the plunging seas that whelmed your head Your spirit passed, unconquered, unafraid, To join the gallant dead. But not by death that spell could pass away That fixed our gaze upon the far-off goal, Who, by your magic, stand in arms to-day A nation one and whole, Now doubly pledged to bring your vision true Of darkness vanquished and the dawn set free In that full triumph which your faith foreknew But might not live to see. O. S. * * * * * HEART-TO-HEART TALKS. (_HERR VON BETHMANN-HOLLWEG and FRAU VON BETHMANN-HOLLWEG._) _She._ You are late again, Theobald. How often must I---- _He._ Oh, please do not worry me, my dear Martha. After what I have been forced to go through it is a wonder that I am here at all. _She._ What--have you been seeing _him_ again? I thought he was away with one of the armies and you would be having a holiday. _He._ So did I think; but it was not to be. Holiday, indeed! When do I ever get even a moment in which to think my own thoughts? _She._ At any rate I hope he acknowledged what Germany owes to you. Where would he have been, I wonder, if it had not been for your constant devotion to his service throughout this terrible time? Does he realise what that has meant for him and his? _He._ Kaisers never realise anything. That's my experience of one of them, at any rate. If you flatter them they smile on you and take all the credit of your work. But I am not cut out of that sort of wood, and the result is that he looks at me as if he had bitten into a lemon by mistake. You know that look, don't you?