Is it true that the KAISER intends to confer upon Admiral VON SCHEER the title of Baron von Sheer-off? * * * * * Our Classicists. "Another relic was a torpedo propeller. 'It came from a German submarine that got into an awkward place rather foolishly--but de mortibus, and the rest of it.'"--_Provincial Paper._ Never mind about the rest of it. "De mortibus" is enough, thank you. * * * * * "Deep down in the ship I came across a strange sight. Some twenty or thirty boys, seated at desks, were being taught the mysteries of compound fractures by a petty officer."--_Liverpool Daily Post._ As a preliminary to teaching the German Fleet the art of recurring decimation? * * * * * "Private Willie----has returned from France looking extremely robust and well. He will, I understand, enter for a course of instruction at Baal College, Oxford, before proceeding again to the front."--_Irish Paper._ As this new foundation, originally intended no doubt for the German Rhodes Scholars, has apparently been diverted to better use, the authorities might now alter the name. [Illustration: UNCONSCIOUS CANDOUR. _German Father._ "Can't we see our victorious fleet?" _Official._ "No, you can't. Nobody can!"] * * * * * [Illustration: OUR WAR PHOTOGRAPHER ON THE CORNISH RIVIERA. THE SALONIKA SENTRY. _Voice from the house._ "IF YOU KEEP YOUR FATHER OUT TOO LONG HE'LL BE CATCHING ANOTHER NASTY COLD."] * * * * * ON THE SPY TRAIL. The milkman told Jimmy that the KAISER was like a gambler who had mortgaged his resources up to bursting point, and now with every tooth drawn was chewing the bitter dregs of remorse to the bone. The milkman says these things come to him whilst he is milking, and the reason is that when he presses his head to the cow's side the heat of the cow thaws the blood in his brain for a time. He told Jimmy that he could make a speech with anybody when he had got his brain like that, and that he thought of addressing meetings, but that the cow would be uneasy on a public platform. Then he looked round to see where Jimmy's bloodhound, Faithful, was. You see Faithful sometimes makes the milkman's horse try to get into the milk-cart and hide its head under the seat, you know, like an ostrich in the dreary desert when it is pursued by its enemies. But Faithful was chained up for the sake of the deaf-and-dumb woman who comes round once a fortnight. The deaf-and-dumb woman has a blind husband, who squeezes a concertina whilst she shakes some coppers in a tin cup at you. Jimmy's mother always gives her sixpence.