Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, June 14, 1916Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, June 14, 1916
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Jimmy says bloodhounds don't like coppers jumping about in tin cups;
it makes them harbour resentment, and then you have to show people
where the piece came out of your dress. The milkman told Jimmy that he
had met the deaf-and-dumb woman that morning. She was all by herself
in one of his fields, practising "Where is my wandering boy to-night"
Her husband had enlisted, that was why, and she had sold the business.
Jimmy wanted to see the woman, but she never came past, so he went
down to the railway-station with Faithful to see if she were there.
But there was only a man with a parcel under his arm looking about for
a train.
Jimmy says that people often go to the station like that, just to see
if there is a train in it; they want to use up their return tickets,
Jimmy says. But there is only the porter to look at, Jimmy says. The
man seemed to think the porter was hiding the trains somewhere, and
asked him for a _Bradshaw_. Jimmy says the porter scratched his head
so hard that Jimmy thought he would get a splinter in his finger,
you know, like they tell you at school, and then he fetched the man a
bradawl. "Didn't he ask me for a gimlet and didn't I bring him one?"
the porter appealed to Jimmy.
Jimmy says the man was very rude to the porter; he said things you
have to be sorry about when you have time to think them over. Jimmy
says the man actually made the porter unlock the waiting-room door and
throw open the window, although the porter told him that he had a hen
sitting on some eggs there.
The man seemed very restless, Jimmy says, because he didn't stay long
in the waiting-room. You see Jimmy's bloodhound wanted to see what the
hen smelt like, and how it was getting on; but the hen was not quite
herself that day, and would keep on flying about the waiting-room at
Faithful, just to try and vex him.
Jimmy says Faithful did his best to get the hen to go back and be busy
sitting on eggs again, but she wouldn't listen to reason.
Jimmy says the man tried to throw the waiting-room at Faithful and the
hen, so Faithful came out through the window, until the furniture
had settled down. Bloodhounds are like that, Jimmy says, they avoid a
disturbance; Faithful is a very good avoider, Jimmy says.
Jimmy says he thinks one of eggs must have been addled, and come
undone in the excitement of the moment, by what the man said. He
didn't seem to like addled eggs much, Jimmy says, and he called
Faithful an animal.
There was a luggage train due, and Jimmy thought he would just see it
come in and then take Faithful away, when on looking round he saw that
his bloodhound had suddenly thrown himself on the Spy trail. He
kept sniffing at the parcel the man had placed on the seat, and then
sniffed hard at the man; after that he sat down and scratched himself
whilst he compared the sniffs. Jimmy says it is splendid to see a
prize bloodhound sifting evidence like that; Faithful is a very good
sifter, Jimmy says.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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