_The C. P._ Well, it's my House as well as yours. I dare say you regret that, but there it is, and you won't alter it by glaring at me and threatening me with your moustache. I'm glare-proof and moustache-proof by this time. _The G. E._ What have I done to deserve such a son? _The C. P._ If it comes to that there's another way of putting it. What have _I_ done to deserve such a father?--that's what I might ask; but I'm too respectful, too careful of your feelings. And what's my reward? You're always nag-nag-nagging at me, morning, noon and night. Why can't you give it a rest? _The G. E._ This is beyond endurance. But it has always been the same from the time you cut your teeth until now--no filial piety, no consideration for your mother and me; only a cross-grained selfishness and bad temper. What happened in India? _The C. P._ Oh, if you're going over that old story again, I'm off. _The G. E._ _Donnerwetter noch einmal!_ Sit still, I tell you. I say again, what happened in India? You never thought of ingratiating yourself with the native chiefs. You couldn't even keep your engagements or be punctual. All you thought of was running after some girl whose face happened to take your fancy. I might as well have kept you at home or sent you to London. What a creature to be a Crown Prince! _The C. P. (wearily)._ There you go again. But I protest against such treatment. I'd far rather be back before Verdun with old VON HAeSELER grandmothering me all over the place. _The G. E._ I wonder you dare to mention the word Verdun in my presence. _The C. P._ Why shouldn't I? I didn't appoint myself Commander of the Verdun armies. You did that, and I've done my best to obey your orders and those of the High Command. If the French fight well, and if we lose thousands upon thousands of men, how am I responsible? Do be reasonable, my respected father. It was you who wanted Verdun. You won't be happy till you get it, and if you do get it now it won't be as useful as an old shoe without a sole. Anyhow, I'm bearing the burden, and if we succeed in breaking through it's you that will have the credit of it. If Verdun falls you'll be there in double quick time to take the salute in your shining---- _The G. E._ Silence, jackanapes! _The C. P._ And if we don't get through poor old VON HAeSELER will have to retire. You'll send him your photograph in a gold frame to console him, just as you consoled BISMARCK. Pity there's no BISMARCK now. However, we can't have everything, can we? (_Left quarrelling._) * * * * * "A damaged Zeppelin was observed to descend in the Thames Estuary, and it surrendered on the approach of patrol goat." _The Journal (Calcutta)._ This incident is believed to be unique, but German submarines have no doubt before now been accounted for by our naval rams. * * * * *