I approached him again, and demanded boots, soberly, seriously and strenuously, I even offered to pay for them. This appeared to cheer him a little, and he murmured something about Army Form 247 x2b, not at present in stock, but indispensable to the issue of the most negligible boot on payment. My further efforts were, owing to exigencies of my military situation, conducted through emissaries. My servant would demand of his company agent nightly, what about them boots? And the company agent would reply--also nightly--that, if the officer would send his size down, the matter would be put through at once. For five nights running my size in boots went down with the empty water tins. On the last night I added a sketch of my feet and of my present boots, with scale of kilometres subjoined, a brief history of footgear in Flanders from pre-Caesarian times to the present day, one piece of broken lace from the old boots, and anything else that struck me as likely to put the matter a little further through. The lace appeared to put quite a new idea into their heads. The advance booting agent now seemed to think that if I had some boots already I might get the new pair by a process known as exchange, which takes less time and has the additional advantage of not costing anything. This struck them as an excellent new game for several days while they were deciding which was the right army form for an officer desirous of exchanging boots. At last all appeared fixed up. I came back into billets with every confidence of finding a couple of boots waiting for me on the mat. Of course I didn't really _believe_ they would be there; I only had every confidence. Anyhow they were not. This morning the Quartermaster called in person. He wanted to know what size I took in boots. I expect now that the matter will be put through almost at once. * * * * * [Illustration: OUR BOYS. _Outraged Elder Brother_ (_who has been asked for a light_). "You're a nice example for young 'Erb. 'Ow dare you 'ave Cigarettes?" _Brother Bill._ "They ain't mine--they're 'Erb's."] * * * * * An Impending Apology. "Chaplain would appreciate portable Gramophone for clearing station."--_The Times._ * * * * * HARD CASES. Among other applications which were recently heard for exemption from the new Compulsory Service Act for unmarried men we extract the following:-- Mr. Isaac Goldstein claimed exemption for his clerk, a stalwart youth of twenty-two, on the ground that he was indispensable to him in his business. Asked what his business was the applicant said he was a bookmaker. _The Chairman._ I thought there was no racing now. _Mr. Goldstein._ Oh, yes. Steeple-chasing every week. _The Chairman._ Do people still go to races and bet? _Mr. Goldstein._ Of course they do. Why not?