_The Chairman._ I fancied they might have found other things to do. Also I fancied that money might be short. The applicant said that there was plenty of money about if you knew where to look for it. _The Chairman._ And who ride the horses? _Mr. Goldstein._ The jockeys, of course. _The Chairman._ They prefer that to doing anything more serious for their country? _Mr. Goldstein._ They are doing something very serious for their country. They're preserving the breed of horses. Where would old England's horseflesh be without races and steeplechases? _The Chairman._ You say this young man is indispensable to you. How? _Mr. Goldstein._ He is my clerk. He writes down the bets. I haven't got time to write down bets myself; I'm too busy taking them. He's one of the quickest clerks in England. I should go broke if I hadn't got him. Application refused. Mr. Joe Tummilee applied for the exemption of a comedian playing in his revue, "Never mind the War." This young man, he said, who was twenty-nine, was the life and soul of the piece, and if he joined the Army the applicant would be put both to inconvenience and loss. _The Chairman._ Are there not older or married actors that you could employ for this great work? _Mr. Tummilee._ They're not so good. The comedian in question was a very agile dancer and was also good-looking. Other men might not attract the public. _The Chairman._ Is the attraction of the public essential? _Mr. Tummilee (surprised)._ Naturally. How should we managers live otherwise? Besides, when a great war is going on it's a national duty to try and make people forget. My theatre, you perhaps are not aware, is a favourite resort for wounded soldiers, who are never so happy as when they are there. _The Chairman._ Surely all that happiness will not disappear because this one performer is missing? _Mr. Tummilee._ Most of it. He's the great draw. _The Chairman._ Has it not occurred to you that the country ought to come first? _Mr. Tummilee._ I consider I'm doing a great deal for the country, and he too, by making it laugh. _The Chairman._ You must find an older funny man or soon we may all be weeping. Application refused. Mr. Samuel Bland claimed exemption on the ground that he disapproved of war and physical force. _The Chairman._ What would you do if you caught a burglar in your house? _Applicant._ I should lock him in and call for the police. _The Chairman._ Then you don't mind relying on the physical force of others for your own protection? _Applicant._ That is part of the machinery of civilisation. _The Chairman._ So, I fear, is an army. Do you pay your taxes? _Applicant._ Yes. _The Chairman._ Why? _The Applicant._ Because there is Scriptural warrant for it. _The Chairman._ But you know that a large part of them goes to maintain our fighting men. Without money we should have to give in. _Applicant._ I obey the law. I don't necessarily know where the money is going.