E-text prepared by Jane Hyland, Jonathan Ingram, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 22993-h.htm or 22993-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/2/9/9/22993/22993-h/22993-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/2/9/9/22993/22993-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 150 MARCH 8, 1916 CHARIVARIA. Germany is declared to have built a submarine that can go to the United States and back. Future insults therefore will be delivered by hand. *** Municipal fishshops are to be established in Germany. They will be closely associated, it is understood, with the Overseas News Agency, and will make a speciality of supplying a fish diet to sailors who are unfortunately prevented by circumstances from visiting the high seas. *** In his lecture before the Royal Institute last week Dr. E. G. RUSSELL told his audience that there are 80,000,000 micro-organisms in a tablespoonful of rich cucumber soil. If we substitute German casualties for micro-organisms and deduct the average monthly wastage as shown by the private lists from the admitted official total of available effectives--but we are treading on Mr. BELLOC'S preserves. *** The Government has announced itself as "satisfied with the measures taken to prevent Canadian nickel from reaching the Germans." Except, of course, in oblong pellets of insignificant size. *** Answering a question of Sir ARTHUR MARKHAM in the House of Commons last week, Mr. TENNANT said, "If there was a large force of troops in Egypt, as to which it is undesirable that I should make any statement, it is quite conceivable that the presence of a hundred and seventeen Generals might be necessary." After all, if every one of them were just a Brigadier-General, they wouldn't require more than half-a-million men to keep them occupied. *** Naval inspectors of cookery, it is officially announced, will hereafter wear a narrow stripe of white cloth on their cuff. This is a simplified form of the ancient heraldic emblem of the cook's guild, which was a hair _frizze naiant_ in a dish of soup _maigre_. *** All kinds of cleaning and washing are to be dearer, and a patriotic movement is already on foot among the younger set to do away with these luxuries altogether in the interests of patriotic economy. *** As a reward of its efforts to save the lives of war-horses, the R.S.P.C.A. has now been officially recognized by the A.V.C. Some hindrance to their work is however feared as the result of strong protests lodged by the Westphalen Pie-makers' Association of Rotterdam, which the Government, in its anxiety not to deal harshly with the neutrals, is said to be carefully considering. ***