And I think it was just this sort of lack of conviction that flattened the actors. Mr. HENRY AINLEY had his moments, but he's not a man of moments. He's about our best _whole-hogger_. Mr. LEON QUARTERMAINE'S easy skill was, as it always is, a very pleasant thing to watch. Mr. DE LANGE gave an animated little sketch of a droll French spy. Mr. MILES MALLESON shouldn't let his sense of character and his undoubted talent for business lead him into that capital sin of taking more than his share of the stage. Mr. HENDRIE as the sailor, _Ben Chope_, gave us another of those amusing grotesques of his; and Miss CLAIRE GREET put in a clever paragraph as _Mrs. Chope_. Mr. FREDERICK GROVES was an excellent gruff servant; Miss PEGGY RUSH a pretty bride; Mr. GERALD MCCARTHY a plausible lover; Miss BRUCE-POTTER a becomingly subdued and adoring Georgian doctor's wife. Mr. LYALL SWETE played competently a poisonous ass of a vicar, and was responsible for the production, which was admirable. T. * * * * * A Ranker. Extract from Battalion Orders:-- "The horse and cab of the Headquarters attached to the ---- Regt., A. Coy., for forage and accommodation." * * * * * "In the Ascot Double Handicap Hurdle Race, after an objection to Early Berry for jumping, the race was awarded to Marita." _Sporting Paper._ Marita, presumably, crawled under the hurdles like a little lady. * * * * * "In spite of all traditions about the British love of a tub, we rarely are acquainted with the proper use of soap and water.... And thus we lay ourselves under Browning's reproach of 'You very imperfect ablutionist!'" _British Weekly._ Browning may have written this; but we prefer GILBERT'S version:-- "You very imperfect ablutioner." * * * * * [Illustration: _Macpherson (who, having lost half-a-crown in the Strand and reported the loss overnight at Scotland Yard, on returning next day to resume his search finds the road up)._ "Losh me--thae Londoners are awfu' thorough!"] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)