Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, May 3, 1916Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, May 3, 1916
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Jimmy says Faithful kept yearning to go back and help; he is a good
yearner, Jimmy says, and he does it by pushing his head through the
collar as far as he can stretch it, and then choking. Jimmy says the
butcher is a good yearner too, but he does it by going red in the face
and trying to burst his collar with his neck. He did it at Faithful this
time. You see Faithful was quietly passing his shop and doing nothing at
all to anyone--Jimmy had only just let him loose on the trail--when he
caught sight of the butcher's sandy cat lying curled up in the window
and going up and down at him with her side. Jimmy says cats are always
doing something like that at his bloodhound, and then what can you
expect if you will do it?
There was a fly-paper on the counter, and after old Faithful had driven
the cat into a corner Jimmy saw him suddenly swing his tail at the
fly-paper and get firm hold of it; then he squatted down on the counter
and wagged the fly-paper at the cat like anything to try and mesmerise
it. Jimmy says that when the butcher came into the shop, and Faithful
stopped to turn round and see where things were, the butcher yearned at
him like anything, and it only made him worse when old Faithful
semaphored at him with the fly-paper.
There was only a bluebottle on the fly-paper besides Faithful, Jimmy
says, so that it wasn't very crowded; but by the buzz the bluebottle
kept on making you would think it owned the fly-paper. Jimmy says his
bloodhound had never shared a fly-paper with a bluebottle before, and he
kept stopping to answer the bluebottle back instead of keeping to the
spy trail.
Jimmy says Faithful had just sent an ultimatum to the bluebottle when
there came the sounds of the hand-organ from a house close by.
Jimmy says as soon as Faithful heard the music he seemed to stiffen all
at once and become rigid. He looked splendid like that, Jimmy says. One
paw up, his tail as straight as he could get it, and the fly-paper at
half-mast--everything pointing to sudden death.
Jimmy followed Faithful as hard as he could, and was in time to see him
stalking quietly hand over fist across a lawn while the woman was
getting one of the green parrots on the end of the stick.
Jimmy knew the man who lived at the house, and who was having his
fortune told. He had come there to live a tired life, Jimmy says, and
when the War broke out he had put up a big flag-pole with a Union Jack
on it as his share.
Jimmy says the parrot had just got the man's fortune in its beak, when
Faithful took a standing jump from behind the woman at it. It was awful,
Jimmy says. The woman gave a scream and grabbed at the parrot, the man
grabbed at Faithful, and Faithful--well, Jimmy says he never knew quite
what Faithful did or how he did it, but he emerged with the man's
fortune sticking to the fly-paper.
Jimmy says bloodhounds are very sensitive and avoid a commotion; but the
man and the woman were not used to his side action in running and they
fell over one another.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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