Jimmy says it was a very funny fortune; it was in a special red envelope and he couldn't understand it at first. You see it only contained the names of some towns and villages, and Jimmy was just wishing that Faithful would leave music and parrots and fly-papers and fortunes alone, and catch German spies instead, when it all came to him because a friend of his mother's lived at one of the villages and some Zeppelin bombs had been dropped there. The woman had given the man the names of the places where Zeppelin bombs had fallen, and old Faithful had been tracking them down all the time. Jimmy's head just buzzed with thoughts as he ran to the police-station. They caught the man and the woman, and one of the policemen discovered the flag-pole on the man's lawn, and it turned out to be part of a wireless apparatus to send messages to Germany. Jimmy says that, when the spies were nicely locked up and settled for the night, one of the policemen got the parrot to tell Faithful's fortune, and when they opened the envelope it said, "Your face is your fortune." * * * * * [Illustration: _Subaltern._ "Well, what do you want?" _Tommy_ (_formerly a cobbler_). "The Cap'n's 'orse wants soleing and 'eeling, Sir."] * * * * * A VERDICT REVISED. Randolph the rash in cruel phrase defames The "mediocrities with double names;" But nowadays we find whole-hearted pleaders Urging the claims of hyphenated leaders. For what were Pemberton without the thrilling Corollary and supplement of Billing? While Billing by itself, pronounced _tout court_ And shorn of Pemberton, sounds bald and poor. Without emotion you and I may any day Light on a Jones unwedded to a Kennedy; Likewise a Kennedy unlinked with Jones Will fail to stir the marrow in our bones. Mark you, moreover, how the order tends To foster and promote euphonic ends; For Billing Pemberton sounds flat and dull, And Jones prefixed to Kennedy is null. But Pemberton by Billing followed up, And Kennedy with Jones to fill the cup, Electrify the nation's tympanum And strike the voice of sober Season dumb. * * * * * A quotation from BROWNING as rendered by _The Daily Chronicle_:-- "No! let me taste the whole of it, fare like my peers, The horrors of old." We regret to see our respected contemporary has not yet abandoned its prejudice against the Upper House. * * * * * "A report was read from the Sanitary Inspector who has now joined the 3rd/4th Wilts Regt. This showed that 18 parishes had been infected under the Housing and Town Planning Act, leaving eight parishes still to be dealt with."--_Wiltshire Advertiser._ In the interests of the uninfected parishes we trust that the Sanitary Inspector will deal faithfully with the Germs. * * * * * LUNCHEON CAUSERIES.