[Illustration: _Kindly old Gentleman (distributing cigarettes to soldiers returning home on leave)._ "AND WHERE'S YOUR HOME, MY MAN?" _Scotsman._ "I COME FRA PAISLEY--BUT I CANNA HELP THAT."] * * * * * BALLADE OF BOOKS FOR THE WOUNDED. 'Midst of the world and the world's despair, A fair land lieth in all men's sight; Ye that have breathed its witching air, Remember the men who went to fight, That have much need in their piteous plight Its gates to gain and its ease to win. The need is bitter, the gift is light; Give them the key to enter in. If ever ye crept bowed down with care Thither, and lo! your fears took flight, And the burden of life grew little to bear, And hurts were healed and the way lay bright; If ever ye watched through a wakeful night Till the dawn should break and the dusk grow thin, And a tale brought solace in pain's despite, Give them the key to enter in. Once they were stalwart, swift to dare; Little could baulk them, naught affright; Still are they staunch as then they were, Strong to endure as once to smite. Yet for awhile if so they might They would forget the strife and din; Shall they wait at a door shut tight? Give them the key to enter in. ENVOI. Friends, this haven is theirs by right; They held it safe for you and your kin: Hereby a little may ye requite-- Give them the key to enter in! * * * * * A Test of Valour. "Mr. Mellish, a regular reader of the _Daily Mail_ for years, was awarded the V.C. last month for conspicuous bravery."--_Daily Mail._ * * * * * "The lack of food is especially irritating to the people, because Bulgaria is a great fool producing country."--_Daily Dispatch._ Yet their irritation seems quite intelligent and sane. * * * * * How History is Written. "The Prime Minister passed through Cardiff in a special train this morning on his return from Ireland. The train stopped at the station to change engines, but the right hon. gentleman was only recognised by a few of those on the station."--_South Wales Echo._ "Mr. Asquith travelled _via_ Rosslare and Fishguard. It was eight a.m. when he left the Pembrokeshire port and 10.25 when the special train pulled up for a few moments at Cardiff. The Prime Minister was then soundly asleep in a sleeping car." _Evening Express (Cardiff)._ * * * * * [Illustration: INJURED INNOCENCE. THE GERMAN OGRE. "HEAVEN KNOWS THAT I HAD TO DO THIS IN SELF-DEFENCE; IT WAS FORCED UPON ME." (_Aside_) "FEE, FI, FO, FUM!" [According to the Imperial Chancellor's latest utterance Germany is the deeply-wronged victim of British militarism.]] * * * * *