I do not know; it may have been her hose that took poor Rendall in, Who previously had flirted with her elder sister, Gwendoline. This Rendall was a wholesale dealer, very rich and large in all His habits, though he always said his profits were but marginal. Well, Rendall kept on waddling round her, like a tired and tardy yak; His movements showed beyond a doubt that his disease was cardiac; He took her on the river; after thinking for a time, aloud He said, "I will propose to you; that is, of course, if I'm allowed." VIII. And she replied, "If I were going to propose, I'm blest if I Would personate an elder who is just about to testify. Now first of all I must remark that Love has come to grip you late In life, but, passing over that, I've certain things to stipulate: You must exhibit interest, as even Goth or Vandal would, In curios and bric-a-brac, in ivories and sandalwood; And you must cope with cameo, veneer, relief and lacquer (Ah! And, parenthetically, pay my debts at bridge and baccarat). I dote on Futurism, and so a mate would give me little ease Whose views were strictly orthodox on MYRON and PRAXITELES. You do not understand," she sneered, "so gross is your fatuity; Well then, I answer 'No,' without a trace of ambiguity." IX. And Rendall turned back sad at heart; but in a stride his honey-bee Was in his arms exclaiming, "Then would wasted all your money be. Come, I will take you with your faults and try to make the best of you; Your purse is good; perhaps in time I may improve the rest of you." [_Publishers' Note_. Readers who are not sated yet and still for more are hungering Will find Vol. II. describe how E. gave cause for scandal-mongering. Vol. III. narrates how R. became enamoured of a fairy at A ball, was robbed of all his wealth and joined the proletariat. How E. washed clothes to earn her bread, while R. reclined in beery ease Upon his bed, will be exposed in Vol. IV. of this series. And further volumes show exactly what was worst and best in E., And how at last, aged eighty-four, she found her life's true destiny.] * * * * * A SIDE-SLIP. "Just before the war we were in danger of having the ugly and even abominable word 'aviator' fostered upon us. Just as that word seemed victorious, _The Times_ suddenly announced that it had decided once and for all to use 'airman' instead, and there can be no doubt that the example there set, which was copied by journalists on other papers, secured the predominance of a good new English word over a deformed importation."--_Times Literary Supplement_. "The volume contains some 500 portraits of New England aviators."-- _Same paper, same date, same page_. * * * * * "QUARTER MILE CHAMPIONSHIP.--Record, Sgt. Smith (North Staffords), 5 2-5secs.