"Shut up. They decided eventually that if a bachelor made a written proposal and was rejected he was entitled to have his case tried before a jury of women, who should decide whether it was a reasonable offer and one that should normally have been accepted. If they found that it was, he was to be exempt from further efforts. The Bill was accordingly drafted, and carried easily, and the sequel no doubt you have guessed. On the day after it became law the beautiful young Premiere received a neatly-typed offer of marriage from Edward Oburn. They met; there was a scene of the utmost beauty and pathos; they became engaged, and the Coalition Government of the middle of 1950 began." "How long did it go on?" I inquired. "Until the day of revolution," said Charles pleasantly, refilling his foul old briar--"the great day when Fleet Street ran with blood and the pipe-smokers put up barricades in the Strand, and Piccadilly became a reeking shambles. Have you got a match?" EVOE. * * * * * [Illustration: _Knowledgeable Female_ (_interpreting costumes to the crowd_). "AND 'IM--'E'S A ESQUIMOKE."] * * * * * "The chauffeur, who sprang into the vehicle as it started off, was injured when it collided with a lamppost. Both were removed to hospital.--_Daily Paper._ It is hoped that when the lamp-post has recovered it may throw some light on the accident. * * * * * "'In a few more fleeting years' The ---- will still be Earning Money for its owner when other cars have caused their owners to become but a memory."--_Provincial Paper._ The advertiser ought not, we think, to have suppressed the names of these murderous machines. * * * * * [Illustration: THE KINDEST CUT OF ALL. WELSH WIZARD. "I NOW PROCEED TO CUT THIS MAP INTO TWO PARTS AND PLACE THEM IN THE HAT. AFTER A SUITABLE INTERVAL THEY WILL BE FOUND TO HAVE COME TOGETHER OF THEIR OWN ACCORD--(_ASIDE_)--AT LEAST LET'S HOPE SO; I'VE NEVER DONE THIS TRICK BEFORE."] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. [Illustration: MR. ASQUITH SITS UP AND TAKES NOTICE. "THE MANCHESTER SCHOOL OF POLITICS IS DEAD AND THERE IS NO GOING BACK TO IT."--_Mr. NEIL MACLEAN._] _Monday, March 1st._--Calendar note (extracted from _The Wee Free Almanack_): "Asquith comes in like a lion." Everybody wanted to see the victor of Paisley make his _rentree_. The Peers' Gallery was so crowded with his former colleagues that Lord ROTHERMERE had scarcely room for the big stick which typifies his present attitude towards the Government. Poor Lord BEAVERBROOK was quite in the background; but I am told that on historic occasions he always prefers, with characteristic modesty, to be behind the scenes.