[Illustration: "Y' EVER HAD A BARF, BILLY?" "YUS, I ONST FELL IN THE SERPENTINE."] * * * * * Redintegratio Amoris. "The Public is hereby notified that myself and my Wife Millicent ---- is together again. I got hasty and advertised her with no just cause. FITZ ----."--_West Indian Paper._ * * * * * "This telegram had been preceded by others, which were, unfortunately, contrary to instructions at the Post Office, delivered at this office, which was closed, and, therefore, not opened."--_Irish Paper._ That, of course, would be so. * * * * * "At a meeting of the Child Study Society on Thursday, April 29th, at 6 p.m., Sir A. E. Shipley, G.B.E., D.Sc., F.R.S., will give a lecture, illustrated by lantern slides, on biting insects and children." _British Medical Journal._ And we had always thought him such a kind man! * * * * * [Illustration: _Gloomy Artist._ "YES, I GAVE HER ALL MY LAST YEAR'S SKETCHES FOR HER JUMBLE-SALE IN THE EAST-END. TOLD HER TO GET RID OF THEM FOR ANYTHING SHE LIKED--HALF-A-CROWN OR A COUPLE OF BOB----" (_Pauses for exclamations of horror at the sacrifice._) _Friend._ "AND DID THEY SELL?"] * * * * * THE MINXIAD. (_Being the scenario of a modern doggerel Epic._) THE lady I choose for the theme of my lay Is a portent "conspicuous even to-day," For, though she was freely condemned and abhorred, She was never suppressed and she can't be ignored. Her parents, most anxious to give a good time To their children, if only they helped them to climb, Unconsciously aiding the new Self-Expression Left all from the start to their daughter's discretion. No nurse was allowed to rebuke her or warn her, No governess put her to stand in a corner; At six she revealed a peculiar joy In the taste of old brandy, and dressed like a boy; At eight she had read CASANOVA, CELLINI, And driven a toasting-fork into a tweeny; At ten she indited and published a story Described by _The Leadenhall News_ as "too gory." One governess after another was tried, But none of them stopped and one suddenly died. Then she went for a while to a wonderful school Which was run on the plan of the late Mrs. BOOLE; But no "ethical safeguards" could ever restrain So impulsive a heart and so fertile a brain; And a fire, for the kindling of which she was held Responsible, led to her being expelled.