On the strength of her fine pyromaniac rage For a season or two she appeared on the stage; Her dancing was crude and her voice was a blank, But she carried it off by superlative swank, And married a swarthy and elderly milli- Onaire who was killed in an earthquake in Chile. A militant during the Suffrage campaign, In the War she adopted the cause of Sinn Fein, And, according to credible witness, was seen In the thick of the fighting at Easter, '16. Escaping arrest by a dexterous dodge She became a disciple of OLIVER LODGE, Gave lectures on Swedish and Swiss callisthenics, Eurhythmics (DALCROZE) and Ukrainian eugenics. Last, married in haste to a Bolshevist don, She dyed her hair green and was painted by JOHN, Eloped with a squat anthropophagous Dago And finds a fit home in Tierra del Fuego. * * * * * "TEMPERANCE WOMEN OF ALL LANDS. ONE PROPOSES KNEELING OUTSIDE HOUSE OF COMMONS." _"Star" Headlines._ We have read the article carefully, but the Member to whom this Leap-Year proposal was made is not mentioned. * * * * * [Illustration: IN A CUSHY CAUSE. OVER-SHORN SHEEP. "OH, SO _THAT'S_ WHERE IT GOES TO, IS IT?"] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. _Monday, April 19th._--Primrose day in the House of Commons was more honoured in the breach than the observance. Barely a dozen Members sported Lord BEACONFIELD'S favourite flower (for salads), and one of them found himself so uncomfortably conspicuous that shortly after the proceedings opened he furtively transferred his buttonhole to his coat-pocket. Among those who remained faithful were Lord LAMBOURNE (in the Peers' Gallery), who had for this occasion substituted a posy of primroses for his usual picotee, and, quaintly enough, Mr. HOGGE, who had not hitherto been suspected of Disraelian sympathies. [Illustration: "A primrose by a river's brim A yellow primrose was to him And it was nothing more." "Mr. HOGGE had not hitherto been suspected of Disraelian sympathies."] For a Budget-day the attendance was smaller than usual. But it was large enough to prevent Mr. BILLING from securing his usual seat. The SPEAKER, however, did not smile upon his suggestion that he should occupy one of the vacant places on the Front Opposition Bench, and curtly informed him that there was plenty of room in the Gallery. Thither Mr. BILLING betook himself, and thence he addressed a question which Mr. HOPE, the Minister concerned, was unable to catch, his ears not being attuned to sounds from that altitude.