"It's as regimental as a yellow flap-eared mongrel wot's bin enticed away from its rightful owner," said the insubordinate Chippo. "There ain't nothink in _King's Regs._ against it." "P'r'aps there ain't," said Bulter; "but it ain't soldierlike." "One minit, Sergeant. Wot's our regimental mascot? It's a goat. An' what's the Dampshires'? A chattering monkey. If monkeys an' goats is soldierlike so's poultry." The Sergeant was silenced, and Chippo and his rooster proceeded on their way, giving a finished exhibition of the goose-step. Thereafter Chippo and his pet ostentatiously paraded the lines, selecting the occasions when the Sergeant was starting out for a constitutional. Though Bulter's feelings were sorely outraged he preserved an air of icy aloofness, which Jane imitated as long as she was on the lead. This apparent indifference should have been a warning to the cockerel, but he did not know Jane's peculiar temperament. The full revelation came one morning when they met in the lines unattended by their respective masters. The rooster quickly fell a victim to feminine duplicity, and Jane carried the mangled bundle of claws and feathers and dropped it at Chippo's feet. Chippo took the remains to Sergeant Bulter. "See what your dawg's done," he said with indignation. "An' a good job too," answered Bulter. "You 'ear that?" appealed Chippo to another N.C.O. who was standing by. "He was allus jealous of me 'avin' a pet, so 'e deliberately set 'is dawg on it, an' now 'e's gloatin'." "See 'ere, my lad," spluttered Bulter, "you'll be for orderly-room to-morrow if you ain't careful." "Very well, Sergeant," said Chippo meekly; "it'll give me a chawnce to make my complaint to the orficer." "'Ow do you mean?" "Why, against you for flat disobedience of Battalion horders. If you 'adn't let your dawg run about the lines unattended this wouldn't 'ave 'appened." The Sergeant's face bore the expression of a quack compelled to swallow his own pills. Chippo continued relentlessly and untruthfully-- "I 'ear she's bit the Colonel's groom an' pinched the joint from the Warrant Orficers' Mess. She never oughtn't to be at large, she didn't." Rarely in his career had Bulter shown such visible discomfiture. "Of course," added Chippo casually, "if Jane was _my_ dawg I'd 'ave no grounds for complaint." When your strong man is compelled to submit to the inevitable he usually does it ungracefully. Bulter took the collar from Jane's neck and pushed her over with his foot. "Take the brute," he said, "an' if ever I see 'er round this Mess again I'll shoot 'er!" * * * * * [Illustration: _Fatuous Person._ "ARE YOU A DIVER?" _Cynic._ "HO, NO. I'M PAVLOVER'S DANCIN' PARTNER."] * * * * * "Paris, Friday.--The High Court of the Senate resumed in public its hearing of the Caillaux trial.... The jury found the prisoner guilty. Mr. Justice Darling postponed sentence."--_Scotch Paper._