Owing to the expense of brass buttons and the bother of cleaning them the S.D. frock will cease to be worn, a Cardigan taking its place both for winter and summer use. The old shades of grey-brown elephant and mole will disappear, but in deference to the views of the pacifists a pale pink will be substituted for the unpopular red. White facings will surround the collar, cuffs and bottom edge of this garment, which will extend to a depth of eight-and-a-half inches above the knee-cap. If side-arms are worn they will be of a miniature size and suspended round the neck to hang in front by means of a lariat decorated with coral beads. Non-commissioned rank will be indicated by bangles round the right wrist. * * * * * Service trousers and puttees are both clumsy in appearance and awkward to put on, and will be replaced by a variant of the Scottish kilt, navy blue in colour and without the sporran or pleats. Under this will be worn pink socks, supporting the _motif_ of the Cardigan, and, instead of the ammunition boot, tan shoes, fastened by means of a single cross strap and button, a mechanism which can be taken down and reassembled with remarkable ease. * * * * * A small haversack will be carried by a cord attachment in the right hand, and will contain the following items of small kit:-- One housewife. One hold-all. [This will be filled with the usual toilet requisites, including a toothbrush, to be employed for the first time, in view of the abolition of brass buttons, for the purpose of brushing the teeth.] One front hair glass. One back ditto. Six safety-pins. One tin shoe-cream. One tin face-cream. It will be compulsory to shave the upper lip, but, in order to minimise expense at the barber's shop, the hair will be worn not less than ten inches in length and brushed with a downward and backward movement of the right hand away from the crown, so as to leave the forehead clear and conceal the ears. White cotton gloves will be worn, one on each hand. V. * * * * * Our Erudite Contemporaries. "Slightly to vary the old Greek proverb, we must beware of the Bishops when they pay us compliments!"--_John Bull._ * * * * * [Illustration: _Policeman._ "YOU SAY YOU SAW THE MAN. WHAT SORT OF A MAN WAS 'E?" _Lady_ (_giving the information_). "OH, A CLEAN-SHAVED BLOKE--SAME AS MY 'USBAND 'ERE."] * * * * * THE ELFIN TUBE. I know a solemn secret to keep between ourselves-- I heard it from a sparrow who heard it from the elves-- That always after 2 A.M., before the first cock-crow, The elfin people fill the Tubes just full to overflow. The grown-ups do not know it; they put the trains to bed And never guess that magic will drive them in their stead; All day the goblin drivers were hiding in the dark (If mortals catch a fairy's eye they take it for a spark).