I have left little time for comic poetry other than Limericks, but most of the above profound observations are equally applicable to both, except that in the case of the former it is usual to think of the _last_ line first. Having done that you think of some good rhymes to the last line and hang them up in mid-air, so to speak. Then you think of something to say which will fit on to those rhymes. It is just like Limericks, only you start at the other end; indeed it is much easier than Limericks, though, I am glad to say, nobody believes this. If they did it would be even harder to get money out of Editors than it is already. We will now write a comic poem about Spring Cleaning. We will have verses of six lines, five ten-syllable lines and one six-syllable. As a last line for the first verse I suggest Where have they put my hat? We now require two rhymes to _hat_. In the present context _flat_ will obviously be one, and _cat_ or _drat_ will be another. Our resources at present are therefore as follows:-- Line 1-- ---- " 2-- ... flat. " 3-- ---- " 4-- ... cat or drat. " 5-- ---- " 6--Where have they put my hat? As for the blank lines, _wife_ is certain to come in sooner or later, and we had better put that down, supported by _life_ ("What a life!"), and _knife_ or _strife_. There are no other rhymes, except _rife_, which is a useless word. We now hold another parade:-- Terumti--umti--umti--umti--wife, Terumti--umti--umti--umti--flat; Teroodle--oodle--oodle--What a life! Terumti--oodle--umti--oodle--cat (or drat); Teroodle--umti--oodle--umti--knife (or strife); Where have they put my hat? All that remains now is to fill in the umti-oodles, and I can't be bothered to do that. There is nothing in it. A. P. H. * * * * * "Will any gentleman requiring a House-keeper accept two decently brought up boys, age 12 and 8 years? Excellent cook and housekeeper; capable of full control." _Daily Paper._ Someone really ought to give these young sportsmen a trial. * * * * * [Illustration: MANNERS AND MODES. THE DOMESTIC SERVANT SHORTAGE. HOW THE MISSES MARJORIBANKS DE VERE (WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF A PERRUQUIER) UPHOLD THE DIGNITY OF HER LADYSHIP THEIR MAMA'S AFTERNOON "AT HOMES."] * * * * * [Illustration: _The Visitor._ "BUT YOU SPOIL THE PLACE BY HAVING THE PUBLIC INCINERATOR ON THAT HILL OVER THERE." _The Town Clerk._ "PARDON ME, SIR--THAT IS _MY_ IDEA. IT COMPLETES THE RESEMBLANCE TO THE BAY OF NAPLES, WHICH WE INSIST ON IN ALL OUR ADVERTISEMENTS."] * * * * * THE LOQUACIOUS INSTINCT. Don't you ever know the impulse, when you are idly turning the pages of a telephone directory, to ring up some total stranger and engage him in light conversation?