But at Brighton the number of things to do is so enormous and so varied that you can spend days and days in not doing them. On the pier alone there are something like a hundred complicated automatic machines which you needn't work; there are fishing-rods which you needn't hire, and concerts to which you needn't listen. The sea is full of rowing boats and motor- launches which you needn't charter, and the land is full of motor-brakes which you needn't board. You needn't mixed-bathe nor go and watch the professional divers, nor the fish in the Aquarium, nor the people with Norman profiles arriving in motor-cars at the hugest hotels. You can simply sit still on the beach and discuss which of these exciting things you won't do first. And while you sit still on the beach you can throw pebbles into the sea. No one has ever thrown as many pebbles into the sea in his life as he wanted to, because someone keeps saying, "Well, you must decide;" but at Brighton you can throw more than in any seaside place that I know. And, now I come to think of it, I wonder that there is no charge for throwing pebbles into the sea at Brighton. I should have thought a low wall with turnstile gates and three or four shies a penny ... but I leave this commercial idea for the Town Council to work out. When I had thrown a great many pebbles into the sea I began to nerve myself for the struggle of returning. Over that struggle I prefer, as the saying is, to draw a veil. Suffice it to say that it is harder to run up to Brighton than it is to run down. But whilst I was running up I made a curious and interesting discovery. I found that the spell of Brighton had cured my cold. I had lost it in the soothing excitement of wondering what not to do next. This is the true panacea. EVOE. * * * * * [Illustration: THE CAP OF LIBERTY: LE DERNIER CRI. EGYPTIAN SPHINX. "HOW DOES IT SUIT MY STYLE?" THE LORD HIGH MILNER. "WELL, I MAY BE PREJUDICED IN FAVOUR OF MY OWN CREATION, BUT I THINK IT MOST BECOMING."] * * * * * RHYMES OF THE UNDERGROUND. The story has been told to you Of good Adolphus Minns of Kew, Whose virtuous ways have won renown From Barking Creek to Acton Town. Now with that hero's blameless life Contrast the conduct of his wife: Avoidance of egregious sins Is not the way of Mrs. Minns. That lady, I regret to say, While bent on shopping every day, Makes no attempt to get it o'er Between the hours of ten and four. To harassed booking-office clerks She makes irrelevant remarks, And tenders, to the crowd's despair, A pound-note for a penny fare, Or, what perhaps is even worse, Starts fumbling in a baggy purse. She'll step aboard a Highgate train, Then check and double back again, And ask a dislocated queue If she is right for Waterloo.