The National Association of Dancing Masters has decided to forbid "the cockroach dive" this year. Our advice to the public in view of this decision is to go about just as if nothing serious had happened. * * * A large party of American University students are on a visit to Switzerland. It is satisfactory to know that the Alps are counted every morning and all Americans searched before they leave the country. * * * "The English house would make an ideal home," says an American journal. Possibly, if people only had one. * * * Three statues have been stolen in one week from Berlin streets. It is now suggested that the London police might be taken off duty for one night in order to give the thief a sporting chance. * * * It is not true, says an official report, that Scottish troops are being sent to Ireland. We are pleased to note this indication that the bagpipes should only be used in cases of great emergency. * * * "What does the Mexican President stand for?" asks _The New York Globe_. Probably because the Presidential chair is so thorny. * * * The Dublin County authorities have decided to release from their asylums all but the most dangerous lunatics. We are assured that local conditions in no way justify this discrimination. * * * A jury of children has been empanelled in Paris to decide which of the toys exhibited at the Concours Lupine is the most amusing. We understand that at the time of going to press an indestructible rubber uncle is leading by several votes. * * * A burglar arrested in Berlin was taken ill, and while operating upon him the surgeons found in his stomach six silver spoons, some forks, a number of screws and a silver nail file. Medical opinion inclines to the theory that his illness was due to something he had swallowed. * * * * * [Illustration: MEMBER OF CLUB WHICH IS CLOSED FOR CLEANING ACCEPTS THE PROFFERED HOSPITALITY OF NEIGHBOUR CLUB.] * * * * * A FAIR WARNING. "REQUIRED.--English Child to play afternoons with French boy ten years; good retribution."--_Continental Daily Mail._ * * * * * "THE NATIONAL LAYING TEST, 1920-21. SECTIONS. 1. White Leghorns. 2. White Wyandottes. 3. Rhode Island Reds. 4. Any other Sitting Breeds. 5. Any other Non-Sitting Breeds. 6. Championship (any Breed). 7. Great Eastern Railway Employees." _Poultry, for the Farmer and Fancier._ We shall treat the porters at Liverpool Street with more respect in future. * * * * * MICHAELMAS AND THE GOOSE. (_Lines written under the threat of a Coal-strike_). You for whose Mass by immemorial use, When Autumn enters on his annual cycle, We offer up the fatted goose Mid fragrant steam of apple-juice, Hear our appeal, O Michael!