"Doesn't it? But ask Julia; she heard it all. And Julia will also tell you what Barbara remarked about my work." But Julia, who was already gathering her furs about her, followed up an unusual silence by a sudden departure. From what Suzanne has since refrained from saying I am confident that I've broken the back of one more legend, and saved Barbara from the fate of having to pass the rest of her childhood living up (or down) to a spurious halo of precocity. * * * * * [Illustration: =AN INCENTIVE TO VIRTUE.= _Small Boy_ (_much impressed_). "THE TICKET-COLLECTOR SAID 'GOOD EVENING' TO DAD." _Mother._ "YES, DEAR, HE ALWAYS DOES. AND PERHAPS, IF YOU'RE GOOD, HE'LL SAY THE SAME TO YOU--WHEN YOU'VE TRAVELLED ON THIS LINE FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS."] * * * * * Another Impending Apology. "DEPARTURE OF THE LIEUT.-GOVERNOR. ENTHUSIASTIC SCENES." _Channel Islands Paper._ * * * * * "Indeed, it is simple to understand why the Canadian portion of the audience almost rise from their seats when Fergus Wimbus, the 'Man,' says, 'Canada is the land of big things, big thoughts, bing hopes."--_Provincial Paper._ Not forgetting the "Byng Boys" either. * * * * * MUSICAL CARETAKERS. ["A LADY is willing to give a thoroughly-good HOME to a GRAND PIANO (German make preferred), also a COTTAGE, for anyone going abroad."--_Morning Paper._] A GRAMOPHONE of small to medium age can be received as p.g. in select RESIDENTIAL HOTEL. Young, bright, musical society. Separate tables. * * * * * WILL any LADY or GENTLEMAN offer hospitality on the Cornish Riviera for the winter months to an EX-SERVICE CORNET suffering from chronic asthma (slight)? * * * * * BAG-PIPES (sisters) in reduced circumstances owing to the War, seek sit. as COMPANIONS or MOTHER'S HELPS, town or country. * * * * * From a list of forthcoming productions:-- "THEATRE ROYAL, ----. Boo Early." * * * * * [Illustration: _Old Lady._ "AND HOW IS YOUR DEAR MOTHER, TO-DAY?" _Child of the Period._ "OH, SHE'S ROTTEN."] * * * * * YARNS. When the docks are all deserted and the derricks all are still, And the wind across the anchorage comes singing sad and shrill, And the lighted lanthorns gleaming where the ships at anchor ride Cast their quivering long reflections down the ripple of the tide, Then the ships they start a-yarning, just the same as sailors do In a hundred docks and harbours from Port Talbot to Chefoo, Just the same as deep-sea sailormen a-meeting up and down In the bars and boarding-houses and the streets of Sailor-town.