_Papa._ Finish. _Interfusa nitentes Vites aequora Cycladas._ What do you make of that? "With an infusion of nitre the vines are equal to Cyclops"--is that it? _Johnny._ I think so, Papa dear. The Cyclops were great giants, who poked out the eye of Achilles with a hot stick, for throwing stones at their ship. _Papa._ Go to bed! _Johnny._ What for, Papa? _Myself._ Yes, what for, TOM? I'm sure the dear fellow has done his best to please you. _Papa._ You are right. It is I who ought to be sent to bed. All right, JOHNNY. Let us have a game at the _Battle of Dorking_--get the board. That's good fun. But L100 a-year, and _sollicitum_, a solicitor, isn't. However, we'll alter that. And, dear _Mr. Punch_, he gave notice the very next day that JOHNNY should not go back to the Private School, and is going to send him to a College, to be starved, fagged, beaten, knocked down with cricket-balls, trampled down at football, and taught to fight. Believe me, yours, AN UNHAPPY MOTHER. * * * * * =True Thomas of Chelsea.= IT was MR. CARLYLE who first revealed the existence of Phantasm Captains, which many people refused to believe in, and laughed at the notion of. What do they say now that a Board of Captains in command over Captains and Admirals too is called by its own Secretary a Phantom Board? Surely that THOMAS of Chelsea is a true Seer, and long since saw through Simulacra which have, in truth, at last been discovered to be transparent Shams. * * * * * [Illustration: "THE OLD CLOCK ON THE STARE."] * * * * * EVENINGS FROM HOME. _MR. BARLOW, with MASTERS HARRY SANDFORD and TOMMY MERTON, visits ASTLEY'S THEATRE, to see the Pantomime of "LADY GODIVA."_ "THIS," exclaimed HARRY, "is an exhibition which affords me, and indeed appears to give to a vast number besides myself, the greatest gratification. _Tommy._ I see, Sir, that _St. George_ appears in this story with _Lady Godiva_; pray, Sir, who was _St. George_? _Mr. Barlow._ There have been, my dear TOMMY, various opinions on this interesting subject, and some honest folks have sought to identify the celebrated personage in question with a Butcher, who served bad meat to the Christians in Palestine, while others have gone equally far towards proving that he was no Butcher, but an Arian Bishop of Alexandria. Whether Butcher, or Bishop, it was for a long time most difficult to determine. _Harry._ But pray, Sir, why did not the antagonistic parties bring the case into a Court of Law so as to obtain a decision.