_Practical Policeman (coming to the point)._ Well, as I can't get you in 'ere, nor, as it seems, anywheres, I must leave you to shift for yourselves. [_Retires pensively._ _Second Shivering Creature._ Well, mates, there ain't then nuffink for it but the "Square" agin; so I'm hoff. [_Straggles aimlessly westward, followed at intervals by other Shivering Creatures as Curtain descends on "capitally organised" Tableau._ * * * * * MOST APPROPRIATE EVIDENCE.--Mistress MARGARET DILLON, Midwife and Monthly nurse, who brought an action against the Irish Secretary for slander, had determined to produce in Court several most respectable wet-nusses to character. * * * * * Messrs. CHATTO AND WINDUS advertise _Jack the Fisherman_, by Miss PHELPS. A catching title, and which sounds like a continuation of _Exchange for a Sole_, by Miss LINSKILL. * * * * * [Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID. _Her Ladyship._ "I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE COMING TO OUR CONCERT IN THE SCHOOLROOM TO-NIGHT, PRICE! MISS DAVEY, THE GREAT CONTRALTO FROM LONDON, IS COMING TO HELP US, YOU KNOW!" _Old Servant._ "YES, MY LADY, WE WAS A SAYING IN THE SERVANTS' 'ALL AS WE FELT VERY HANXIOUS ABOUT 'ER. THEY DON'T APPRECIATE ANYTHING REALLY FUST-RATE DOWN 'ERE. NOW YOU AND MISS HEMMAR ALWAYS TAKES BEAUTIFUL, MY LADY!"] * * * * * THE SCHOOLMASTER OF THE FUTURE. _Skilled Mechanic of Old School loquitur_:-- It's a nice pretty state of affairs, if you look at the business all round! If someone don't alter it somehow, Old England must come to the ground. I've thought it all out a good bit, for it touches us home, don't you see; It puzzles the swells, so, no doubt, it's too much of a twister for me. But I look at the thing from a side which they can't have their eye on,--not close,-- A fair forty year at the bench ought to give one the tip, I suppose. If me and my mates and the masters, the Book _and_ the Bench, could combine To take the job fairly in hand, I suppose we could strike out a line. Odd luck if we couldn't, at least; but we _don't_ pull together, you see: Pull devil pull baker's the game,--it's a mad one, as most will agree. The Book and the Bench! There's the nip. And a fellow will see--if he'll look-- That although the three R's are good value, a man cannot _live_ by the Book.