* * * * * _Thursday._--Attend a proclaimed meeting of the Land League at Kilhoolish. Manage to get inside room, and focus the Chairman, when somebody asks me what's my "business there at all." Explain that I've just come to take an instantaneous photograph of the proceedings, in a friendly way. Chairman takes off his coat, and jumps on to the table. Focus him again. Shouts out to me, "Is it a frind ye call yerself? Thin, bedad, me boy, it's jist out of the window we'll put ye." A rush is made at me. Seize camera, and hurriedly take pictures of scuffle in seventeen positions. Am ultimately hurled out of window. Camera thrown after me Never mind. Have secured several excellent pictures of legs, arms, flying chairs, and shillelaghs. Limp off as fast as I can, to develop them. * * * * * _Friday._--Turn up at Glencreagh to witness an eviction on Lord DOLLIBANNIN'S property. One hundred and fifty Police and two squadrons of Cavalry engaged in supporting Bailiffs. Farm vigorously defended by infuriated natives. Propose to take an instantaneous photograph of interior of premises. Approach window with camera. Am instantly covered with boiling meal, and felled by a crowbar. Endeavour to focus my assailant. Pursues me to garden-gate. Turn on him with camera. Sends me flying over the wall. Pull myself together, and creep off, not altogether disappointed. Find I have succeeded in taking a very fair negative of a pitchfork. * * * * * _Saturday._--Make for Tullamore, meaning to finish up with an instantaneous photograph of O'BRIEN. Call on Governor of Gaol and explain that I should like to take his prisoner, "clothes and all, just as he is, having a meal, if possible, so as to satisfy the outside public as to his general condition and appearance." Bids me mind my own business, and endeavours to slam the door in my face. Tell him I shall certainly photograph _his_ attitude in the matter. Focus him. Makes a rush at me, kicks me into the street, and smashes my camera. So can't even take the sole of his boot. Pity. It would have made a pleasing and striking picture. However, on the whole, not a bad week's work. But must rest now for repairs. Am looking forward with confidence to next. * * * * * [Illustration: STARTLING! _He (rapturously)._ "AND NOW THAT'S ALL SETTLED, DARLING, WHAT KIND OF ENGAGEMENT RING WOULD YOU LIKE?" _She._ "OH, GOLD THIS TIME, I HOPE, DEAREST! I'M QUITE SICK OF WEARING IMITATION ENGAGEMENT RINGS!!" [_Tableau!_]] * * * * * THE DUSTMAN AND THE BARGE-OWNER. (_A River Carroll._)