"Mr. AKERS DOUGLAS assured BARON HENRY de WORMS that a system had arisen of London barges, laden with tin kettles, old iron, pots, crockery, and even iron bedsteads, emptying this refuse into the sea near the Isle of Sheppey, and that the Whitstable oyster-beds were in consequence being ruined."--_Daily Paper._ The Dustman and the Barge-owner Were very fast allies; They wept like watering-pots to see Such rubbish-heaps arise, Including iron bedsteads, and Pans of enormous size. "If any householder in Town Told me to move this 'ere, Do you suppose," the Dustman said, "That I should get it clear?" "I doubt it," said the Barge-owner, "Unless they gave you beer! "But I've some barges on the Thames; So here's a jolly spree-- We'll take this lot of tins and pots, Also the crocker_ee_; And when we're out of sight of land, We'll drop 'em in the sea!" The Dustman and the Barge-owner They loaded barges four, And when they got to Whitstable They anchored near the shore; The Barge-owner said nothing but "Why should we voyage more?" "But, wait a bit!" an Oyster cried, Turning quite blue with dread; "You surely would not empty here Your refuse on my head! I do not want a bedstead, though This _is_ an _Oyster_-bed." "The time has come," the Barge-owner Remarked unto his mate, "To talk of Barking outfall, and Our Vestry's last debate, And whether pots or liquid slush The Oysters most do hate." "It seems a shame," the Dustman said, "To spoil the Oyster breed, Considering that, when nice and fat, They're very good indeed, Eaten with bread-and-butter, brown, And flowing bowls of mead." "I weep for them, I do, I'm sure," The Barge-owner replied; Then sorted out the nastiest things His rubbish-ship supplied, And, winking to his dismal friend, He chucked them o'er the side! "O Oysters dear!" the Dustman cried, "Our business we have done. I hope you'll find the bedsteads fit." But answer came there none; And this was scarcely odd, because They'd perished every one! * * * * * THE SHRIMP CURE. (_By Pegwell Bey._) [Illustration] Sir,--My title is Oriental; but I am a British subject. I address you as an expert. This is the time of Cures--you have the Grape Cure, the Whey Cure, the Water Cure, the Bath Cures, the Cures by German waters--another and a shorter Whey Cure--and the Cure by French watering-places. You have the Homburg Cure, the Wiesbaden Cure, the Royat Cure; indeed, every kind of Cure, except the only Perfect Cure, which I assert to be the "Shrimp Cure!"