Royat (if you are a _baigneur_, recommended here by your Doctor) is an easy place to get to, and to get away from. My friend SKURRIE, who, immediately he has arrived at any place, passes all his time there in consulting guide-books, maps, _Bradshaws_, COOK'S tourist books, and local _indicateurs_, with a view to see how he can best get away, comes to me with a paper full of closely-written details, and says, "Here's my plan:--Royat, Lyon (why do we put an 's' on to it, and make it 'Lyons?' it would be as sensible for the French to call Liverpool 'Liverpools,' or Manchester 'Manchesters.' And why can't the French call London 'London,' instead of 'Londres?')--then Aix-les-Bains (for a _massage_, and an excursion or two) ... then Geneva. This is, if you've got time to spare. If not, in a week you can make a really refreshing tour by pushing on from Lyon to Geneva, to Bâle, to Heidelberg, to Mainz, down the Rhine to Cologne, then Antwerp, Flushing, Queenborough. This will complete your week, and you will return to England with a store of variety to last you a year." * * * * * VALUABLE MEM. FOR A CERTAIN ARCHITECT IN HIS NEXT BUILDING OPERATION.--"To construct a much-more-_Exiter_ Theatre than the one recently destroyed by fire." * * * * * OUR ADVERTISERS. THEATRICAL AND RE-ASSURING. THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE.--The sole Lessee and Manager begs to inform his patrons, the public, that he has left no stone unturned to render it by a long way. * * * * * THE SAFEST THEATRE IN THE TWO HEMISPHERES. The mere perusal of the advertisements appearing in the daily press, furnishing the intending audience with a complete handbook of escape in the event of any sudden catastrophe, must, he feels, afford them. * * * * * REAL PLEASURE, which, owing to the precautionary measures he has taken for their protection, they may genuinely experience when securing their places for a performance in the unique fireproof auditorium. * * * * * THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE EXITS.--A hop, skip and a jump will take any member of the audience from any part of the house directly into the street outside in five seconds. * * * * * THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE has all its doors taken off their hinges the moment the performance commences. * * * * * THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE possesses concrete Stalls. * * * * * THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE, has its private boxes constructed with perforated shower-bath ceilings that drench the occupants without ceasing the entire evening. * * * * *