Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
After the Wolves, by way of contrast, I paid a visit to La Belle
FATMA. On delivery of a shilling, I, with other members of the Public,
was passed in to a screened-off portion of the Imperial Theatre. A
stout French gentleman seated himself at a piano below the stage, and
the curtain rose presently, disclosing the fair FATMA and her troupe
seated in a row, like a new variety of Christy Minstrels. With regard
to the principal lady, I am bound to say that her charms did not seem
to me to have been at all overestimated, and her portraits upon the
posters actually do her less than justice. But this is a matter of
opinion; and I must confess that, after all, it was not upon the
peerless FATMA that my eyes were most riveted. There was a stout
old lady in a turban, two places from her--_such_ an old lady! with
immense black eyebrows, meeting over flashing dark eyes, and a massive
Oriental nose, a wide sternly compressed mouth, and three chins. Upon
her knees she held a gourd-shaped drum, which she smacked severely
at intervals; she might have sat for CORNELIA polishing one of her
"jewels"; and when she sang, the illusion was complete!
As to the performance, it was Oriental; and no description can
convey much more. We had an Overture on the familiar "Rum-tum-tum,
tum-a-tum-tum-tum, tum-a-tum" theme, which revealed considerable
"staying power" on both sides of the footlights. Then one member of
the _troupe_ after another advanced, and, if a lady, _chassé_'d and
revolved with slowly waving arms, and an expression that seemed to
imply that she would take more pains if it were only worth while; if
a man, he capered and grinned and shouted in a manner which, at all
events, infinitely amused the performer himself. While this was going
on, the old lady continued to "spank"--there really is no better term
for it--her drum in a sort of grim _rêverie_, and a young person
by her side emitted piercing shrieks by way of enlivening the
proceedings. There was a mysterious One on the stage, who reminded me
of an immense dice-box muffled in muslin; this, it turned out, was the
COLOSSUS of SOUSSE, to whom was entrusted the function of "presenting"
Mademoiselle FATMA at the close of the performance. This seemed
superfluous, particularly as the excellent Colossus had no notion of
doing more than taking her by the hand and stalking two paces forward.
It was all over in a quarter of an hour or so; and, for my own part, I
considered the old lady in the turban alone worth the paltry shilling
charged for admission.
I have also been to TERRY'S Theatre, where great precautions are taken
to prevent fire. Everything, more or less, is labelled "Exit," and,
instead of doors, in several parts of the house there are curtains.
On the whole it must be a good theatre to escape from. This is worth
noting, if the performances are wearisome.
* * * * *
BALLADE OF THE TIMID BARD.
(_To Angelica, who bids him publish._)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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