_Stratford-on-Avon, October 18._--Speech at the Opening-of-Fountain ceremony went very well. Some distinguished Americans were not there, notably Mr. ABBEY. In consequence, had to omit all reference to "Abbey Thought" and "Fountains Abbey," which, as J. L. T. suggested in his letter, would have lightened the entertainment considerably. Also very annoying, but I never thought of it till too late; I quite forgot to say anything about BUFFALO BILL. CODY will be hurt; but I shall be in America before he gets back there, so it doesn't much matter. Yet it was a chance lost. WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE, WILLIAM CODY, Buffalo BILL, Swan SHAKSPEARE. No matter, keep it for another time. And at the last moment I could not make out what I had written on my wristband as a mem. for speech. It was _à propos_ of Mr. CHILD'S gift. I see now it was something about "Child's the father to the man." And then an allusion to the sympathy between America and England as not being mere "Child's-play." Very odd, how I forgot that. Still, speech couldn't have gone better. And how on earth I omitted to make any mention of Miss MARY ANDERSON I can't understand! Yet the fact that this fair American is now playing at the Lyceum ought to have stuck in my memory which yet holds its seat in this distracted brain. And, dear me, there was the American Minister present, and yet--bother it!--it never occurred to me, till I was dressing this evening, hours afterwards, that I ought to have remarked on the fact that America was represented here on this special Dramatic occasion by a gentleman bearing a name so honoured alike by English and American actors, and so dear to the theatrical profession as must always be that of "PHELPS." But this will keep, too, for another time. And, after all, in spite of these omissions, which of course nobody noticed, the speech went admirably. * * * * * Nottingham v. Sunderland. "There's _no_ Liberal Party!" cries GRANDOLPH the bold. "Hooray!" shout the Tories, "the straightest of shots!" But the faithful who flock to the G. O. M.'s fold. Say, "Our old party bonds are re-tied now--in _Notts_!" * * * * * THE AXE PREMIER'S AUCTION. [Illustration: _Auctioneer._ "FINE CHIPS OF THE OLD BLOCK, GENTLEMEN! SPLENDID SPECIMENS OF THE HAWARDEN TIMBER, IN THE SALE OF WHICH, GENTLEMEN, I ASSURE YOU, I HAVE 'NO INTEREST WHATEVER.'" ("_Hear! hear!_") "NOW, GENTLEMEN, HOW MUCH SHALL WE SAY FOR THIS CHIP, WHICH I LOPPED OFF WHEN I WAS LEAVING HAWARDEN--WHEN I WAS 'CUTTING MY STICK,' IN FACT." (_Laughter._) "WHO BIDS FOR THIS? DON'T BE ALL FAGOT-VOTING AT ONCE!" (_Laughter and Cheers._) "NOW THEN,--FIFTEEN SHILLINGS, TEN SHILLINGS, SEVEN, FIVE, EIGHTEENPENCE,--ANY ADVANCE ON EIGHTEENPENCE? GOING! GOING! GOING! GONE! GONE FOR EIGHTEENPENCE, AND CHIP AT THE PRICE!" [_Auction Continues._] * * * * * HINTS FOR THE UNEMPLOYED.