Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93, October 29, 1887Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93, October 29, 1887
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
SIR,--Excellent as is the suggestion of your Correspondent, "ONE WHO
WOULD ELEVATE THEM," that the Unemployed should be forthwith put into
the hands of some competent Ballet-Master, and after a proper course
of instruction, despatched to all the Board Schools in England for
the purpose of teaching every pupil who has passed the Sixth Standard,
dancing and deportment, yet I do not think he goes far enough.
Why stop at this comparatively subordinate art? Why not make them
musicians, teach them to play WAGNER, and despatch them straightway
through the length and breadth of the land as enthusiastic Apostles of
the great Master? What a glorious prospect to turn the three or four
thousand idle loafers who have lately been hulking about Trafalgar
Square for the purpose of breaking the peace, into a mighty army of
skilled fiddlers eager to wake the glad strains of the spirit-stirring
Music of the Future in every quiet village green through the three
Kingdoms. And the accomplishment of such a task need not be set aside
as the wild vision of some hopeless dreamer. I am convinced, Sir, that
if the authorities of the Royal College and Guildhall School of
Music, but set their shoulders to the wheel, the thing will soon be an
accomplished fact. Such, Sir, at all events, is the opinion of one who
believes firmly in
"THE SOUL OF THE MASSES."
SIR,--Why not paint the whole of London, public buildings and
all?--I'm sure they want it. The latter might be done in different
colours. St. Paul's, for instance, might be orange, Westminster Abbey
pea-green, and the Houses of Parliament a bright blue. If the effect
were found unsatisfactory, fresh colours could be tried, until
something were hit upon that should be considered suitable. This
would afford the additional advantage of providing fresh work for the
Unemployed. I don't see what else can be done. Everybody can use a
brush, and with a couple, or say, three coats all over the Metropolis,
there would be plenty to occupy everybody for the next six months.
As to expense, an extra 15s. tacked on to the rates would soon settle
that, and I'll be bound there's many a householder willing to face
that trifling alternative, together with
Yours, practically, one who takes
"THE BULL BY THE HORNS."
SIR,--I cannot but think that, if BUFFALO BILL were to introduce
the "Unemployed" into his Show, he would score a big success. The
introduction might take the shape of a contest between the "Wild East"
and the "Wild West." The former might be armed with brickbats and
park-railings, and the latter with their usual weapons; and, were it
known that a little genuine blood would be drawn in the entertainment,
it might be safely counted on to draw all London. I throw out the
suggestion for what it is worth.
Your obedient servant,
"A COMMERCIAL WELL-WISHER."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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