THE DON JOSÉ GIANT GRAPE GINGER BEER.--Don JOSÉ DI GOMEZ, Marquis of MAXILLO, Duke of BAGOTA, Grandee of Spain, Knight Grand Commander of the Order of the Purple Alligator, G.R.M.C.S.S., &c., &c., having, owing to some recent financial losses in connection with his ancestral estates in South Patagonia, determined to listen to the advice of experts and friends, who assure him that he possesses a complete mine of wealth in the Giant Grape Vineyards, for which his Sicilian property has long been celebrated, has made all the necessary arrangements for the manufacture of a sound and serviceable sparkling Wine, which, under the title of the DON JOSÉ GIANT GRAPE GINGER BEER, he is now prepared to supply to the general public at a moderate cost. * * * THE DON JOSÉ GIANT GRAPE GINGER BEER.--Is a delicious light sparkling wine, soft and smooth on the palate, of a Madeira flavour, possessing a bottled stout character, and if mixed with water strongly resembling the choicest brands of Old Burgundy, Hock, and Californian Claret, shipped from the estate direct, in cases containing one dozen, at 7_s._ * * * THE DON JOSÉ GIANT GRAPE GINGER BEER.--This exquisite beverage is also possessed of valuable medicinal advantages, and is highly recommended by the faculty as a most successful and beneficial cough mixture. * * * * * "THE LATEST SPRING NOVELTY."--A Fine Day. * * * * * [Illustration: THE PARLIAMENTARY GOLF-LINKS. (_A Sketch made during the Recess._)] * * * * * THOUGHTS ON HIS WINE-MERCHANT. I love my Wine-merchant--he talks with a charm That robs his most dubious vintage of harm. And the choicest Havanas less comforting are Than the fumes of his special commended cigar. I'm a reticent man, with a palate of wood, And I judge by results if a vintage be good. But I own to the charm of my Wine-merchant's worst, If he gives me his comforting flattery first. He proffers me samples to praise or to blame, And I strongly suspect they're exactly the same. But we gaze at each other with critical eye, And I wish he would hint if it's fruity or dry. I want, say, a dozen of average stuff (Though a couple of bottles were really enough), And I enter his portals, reluctant and slow, Resolved just to give him the order and go. But he takes me in hand in his soothering style, Suggests in a whisper, and "books" with a smile; And I vainly dissemble the joy in my face When he ceases to ply me with bottle and case. The talk drifts away to affairs of the State, And I ought to escape, but I palter and wait; And he opens a box in the midst of his chat, And asks, like a flash, my opinion of "that"? I sniff the tobacco, and turn it about With an air that is really of genuine doubt, And knowing so little what judges would say, I meekly consent to a hundred--and pay.