"_Your admirable Member, whose voice we hear only too seldom in the House_;" _i.e._, "A silent 'stick' whose silence is his only merit." "_No words of mine are necessary to commend this vote of thanks to your good will. You all know your Chairman_;" _i.e._, How long will that stammering idiot be allowed to preside at these meetings? PARLIAMENTARY. "_Of course I withdraw_;" _i.e._, "Of course I don't." "_Of course, Sir, I bow to your ruling_;" _i.e._, "I'm sure you're wrong." "_Of course I accept the Honourable Gentleman's explanation_;" _i.e._, "Can't _tell_ him he's a liar!" "_When I entered the House to-night it was with no thought of being called upon to address you_;" _i.e._, "I _should_ have been mad if I'd missed the chance of letting off my long-stored rhetorical fireworks!" AT A DANCE. "_May I have the pleasure?_" _i.e._, "Wish to goodness she'd refuse, but no such luck!" "_Delighted!_" _i.e._, "I'd as soon dance with a tipsy Mammoth." "_Awfully sorry, but I haven't one dance left;_" _i.e._, "I've three, but if I'd thirty, he shouldn't have one, the lemon-headed little cad!" "_I think I see Mamma looking for me;_" _i.e._, "Must get rid of the bore somehow." A LITTLE MUSIC. "_Oh, will you play us that sweet little thing of yours in five flats?_" _i.e._, "It isn't sweet, but it is short, which is something--with him!" "_Won't you give us just one song, Mr. Howler? I won't ask you for more_;" _i.e._, "Wouldn't for that, if I could help it." * * * * * MODERN TYPES. (_By Mr. Punch's Own Type-writer._) No. IX.--THE ADVERTISING BARRISTER. [Illustration]