Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, April 12, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, April 12, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
And now the comforts of life, and its laziness, begin for her. For
whereas her parents were forced to pinch themselves in many places, in
order to assume the flush of wealth, and were unable to relax for a
moment the busy society vigilance in which their daughter had to bear
her part, there is, in the paradise of her new existence, a moneyed
repose, which permits her, on the pretence of weariness, to cease from
troubling herself about anything. This does not, however, prevent her
from becoming a cause of infinite trouble to others. Her maid is worn to
a shadow by the perpetual search for handkerchiefs and eau de Cologne,
with which to bathe the aching forehead of her mistress. Her friends are
distracted by the recital of her tales of shattered nerves, and
merciless _migraines_; her husband finds his existence embittered by a
constant change of butlers, and a perpetual succession of cooks, over
whom his feeble wife exercises about as much control as the President of
the French Republic over his short-lived Ministries. But, as yet, she
has not attained to the full and perfect glory of the Invalid's life.
During the next five years she is still to be seen occasionally at
evening parties and afternoon teas in the houses of her friends. She
also becomes the mother of two children, a boy and a girl. After her
second confinement she is prostrated by a slight illness, and during her
convalescence she makes up her mind that life is made tolerable only by
illness and the delicate attentions that accompany it. She is confirmed
in this opinion by the discovery that her figure is no longer adapted to
the prevailing fashion of everyday dress, and that her complexion looks
better in her own room and beneath her own arrangement of curtains than
in the vulgar glare of unmitigated daylight. She therefore enters with a
light heart and a practically unimpaired constitution, upon a prolonged
period of tea-gowns, _chaises longues_, and half-lights, and is
recognised everywhere as an Invalid.
Henceforward she takes no concern in the pleasant labours or the social
amenities of life. The busy hum of the great world beats outside her
chamber, men and women are born, and marry and die, society may be
convulsed with scandals, kingdoms may totter to their fall in a crash of
wars and tumults, but the Invalid lies through the tedious days propped
on pillows, and recks only of her own comfort. Her husband is raised to
high office in the Government of the day, her boy plays cricket at
Lord's or rows in his University Eight, her daughter grows in years and
beauty, but she herself reposes, strong in the blessed luxury of feeble
health, and in the impenetrable selfishness with which she exacts a
minute and unswerving devotion from those who surround her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account