I seed all the River Tems Conserwatives, with the Right Honnerabel the LORD MARE at the hed of 'em all, a laying carmly at rest in their bootifool Steam Bote, a trying for to look as if they wasn't responsibel for all the hundreds of thousands of peeple as lined all the banks of the River a gitting ome safely. Many on 'em I remarked kept on a disappearing down below ewery now and then, probberbly to seek that strengthening of the system so werry nessessery under such trying suckemstances. Upon the hole, I wentures werry humbly to pronounce it to be one of the werry sucksessfullest races of moddun times, which I bleeves means about 6 years. ROBERT. * * * * * [Illustration: "THE GIFT HORSE."] * * * * * [Illustration: TIT FOR TAT. _Captain Pullem (having just effected a "Swop" with his Friend)._ "NOW, I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU, OLD MAN. THAT HORSE YOU'VE GOT FROM ME IS A BIT OF A CRIB-BITER!" _Friend._ "_Oh, don't mention it, Old Chap. You'll find mine to be a confirmed Runaway_!"] * * * * * SONG SENTIMENTIANA. (_A Delightful "All-the-Year-Round" Resort for the Fashionable Composer._) EXAMPLE II.--SHOWING HOW CURIOUSLY RETENTIVE IS THE LOVER'S MEMORY. 'Tis ninety years ago, love! It seems but yestermorn We sat upon the snow, love, And watch'd the golden corn! I mind the bitter wind, love-- I mind it well, although The wind I say I mind, love, Blew ninety years ago! The plough stood on the hill, love-- The horse stood in the plough! And both were standing still, love-- I seem to see them now! The lamb frisk'd in the glen, love-- A stranger _he_ to _whoa_! And so was I--but then, love, 'Twas ninety years ago! The roses by the way, love, Were large and, oh, so fair! And so they are to-day, love, For all I know--or care! And softly unto thou, love, While yet among the snow, I breathed that fatal vow, love, Of ninety years ago! * * * * * A "FISHING INTERROGATORY."--"What's this new French book on angling?" asked Mrs. R., who is not very well up in the French language and literature. "I believe," she went on, "it is called _The Bait Humane_. I do hope it is against the cruel practice of putting live worms on a hook, which is so cruel."--[It is supposed that our dear Mrs. R. has heard some mention of _La Bête Humaine_.--ED.] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. ADVICE to those who are about to give Easter presents--send to MACMILLAN'S for "The Nursery 'Alice,'" who re-appears "as fresh as paint," that is, with twenty-four of "Our Mr. TENNIEL'S" illustrations, coloured by Miss GERTRUDE THOMSON, under his direction.