It looks all very well in the front, to be shure, Though I don't loike the way that it lays back its ears, But your sate in the saddle had need be secure If it lash out behoind, as it _could_, oive me fears. By the sowl of St. PAT. oi'd as soon risk a spill From those blayguard buck-jumpers of BUFFALO BILL! Gift horse? Oh, by jabers _that's_ not what we're afther, We'd breed for ourselves if they'd give us a chance. BALFOUR, ye stand there wid an oi full o' laughter. Ye divil, we know that cool optical dance. Come the comether on us then, would ye, ye wag, Wid this "ginerous" gift of a dangerous nag? All shenanigin', that's what it is, sheer purtence; But ye don't catch us ould Oirish birds wid such chaff! Ye'd loike us to take it,--and take no offence. And thin it's yourself as 'ud just have the laugh. It may do for the North, but won't suit us down South; So, PARNELL, my boy, _take a squint at its mouth!_ * * * * * FASTER AND FASTER.--In France there is now a Fasting Girl. If she beats the record, and if the winners, who back her staying powers against those of Succi, give her a handsome _dot_, she will be known as _La Jeûnesse Dorée_. * * * * * DUNRAVEN. (_Verses from the Very Latest Version._) Once on a Commission dreary sat DUNRAVEN, worn and weary. Hearing many a snuffling Hebrew, many a Sweater's victim poor, Oft he nodded, nearly dozing, but, on the Commission's closing, Schemed out a Report, supposing that by such Report he'd score. "Tone it down," his colleagues muttered; "like a sucking-dove let's roar, Gently purr, and nothing more." * * * * * "Be those words our sign of parting!" cried DUNRAVEN, swift upstarting; "Sweating's an accursed system, but if now our toil is o'er, We leave twaddle as sole token of the swelling words we've spoken. Public faith in us is broken! Bah! I quit, I "bust", boil o'er! Take my seat, sign your Report, about such bosh my spirit bore?" Quoth DUNRAVEN, "Nevermore!" * * * * * ROBERT TRIHUMFUNT! I ONLY hopes as most of my thowsands of readers took my strait tip last Wensday morning, and got their 9 to 4 against the winner, if not it most suttenly wasn't my fault. My directions was as clear as daylight. "Dark morning, dark blew carnt lose." And wosent it a dark morning? and wosent it luvly arterwuds? Any of my winners may send my 5 per sent commishun to the hoffice as ushal, and they will all receve a copy of my emortle Book by post. It was a puffeckly lovely race! fust Cambridge got fust, then Hoxford got fust and Cambridge second, and so on all through, but in course Hoxford wun as I proffysized.