Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 1, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 1, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Emily_ (_entering distractedly in bridal costume, with a large rent in
her train_). You have no eyes, I tell you, let me help. It must be
found, or I am all undone! In vain my cushion I have cut in two--'twas
void of all but stuffing.... Gracious Heavens, to think that all my
future bliss depends on the evasive malice of a pin!
[PETER _behind screen, starts violently._
_Peter_ (_aside_). A pin! what dire misgivings wring my heart! (_Hops
forward with a cold dignity, holding one foot in his hand._) You seem in
some excitement, EMILY?
_Emily_ (_wildly_). _You_, PETER!... tell me--have you found a pin?
_Peter_ (_with deadly calm_). Unhappy girl--I _have_! (_To_
Bridesmaids.) Withdraw awhile, and when we need you, we will summon you.
(_Exeunt_ Bridesmaids; EMILY _and_ PETER _stand facing each other for
some moments in dead silence._) The pin is found--for I have trodden on
it, and may, for aught I know, be lamed for life. Speak, EMILY, what is
that maid's desert whose carelessness has led to this mishap?
_Emily_ (_in the desperate hope of shielding herself_). Why, should the
fault be traced to any maid, instant dismissal shall be her reward, with
a month's wages paid in lieu of notice!
_Peter_ (_with a passionless severity_). From your own lips I judge you,
EMILY. Did they not own just now that you had heard the falling of a
pin--yet heeded not? Behold the outcome of your negligence!
[_Extends his injured foot._
_Emily._ Oh, let me kiss the place and make it well!
_Peter_ (_coldly withdrawing foot_). Keep your caresses till I ask for
them. My wound goes deeper than you wot of yet, and by that disregarded
pin is pricked the iridescent bubble of Illusion!
_Emily_ (_slowly_). Indeed, I do not wholly comprehend.
_Peter._ Have patience and I will be plainer yet. Mine is a complex
nature, EMILY; magnanimous, but still methodical. An injury I freely can
forgive, forget it--(_striking his chest_)--never! She who leaves about
pins on the floor to pierce a lover's foot, will surely plant a thorn
within the side of him whose fate it is to be her husband!
_Emily_ (_dragging herself towards him on her knees_). Have pity on me,
PETER; I was mad!
_Peter_ (_with emotion_). How can I choose but pity thee, poor soul,
who, for the sake of temporary ease, hast forfeited the bliss that had
been thine! You could not stoop to pick a pin up. Why? Because,
forsooth, 'twas but a paltry pin! Yet, duly husbanded, that self-same
pin had served you to secure your gaping train, your self-respect--and
Me.
_Emily_ (_wailing_). What have I done?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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