* * * * * THE CAPTAIN OF THE "PARIS." Captain SHARP, of the Newhaven steamer, _Paris, you_'re no craven; Grim and growling was the gale that you from your dead reckoning bore; And, but for your brave behaving, she might never have made haven, But have foundered in mid-Channel, or been wrecked on a lee-shore. With your paddle-floats unfeathered, wonder was it that you weathered Such a storm as that of Sunday, which upset our nerves on land, Though in fire-side comfort tethered. How it blew, and blared, and blethered! All your passengers, my Captain, say your pluck and skill were grand. Much to men like you is owing, when wild storms around are blowing, As they seem to have been doing since the opening of the year: Howling, hailing, sleeting, snowing; but for captains calm and knowing, Passage of our angry Channel were indeed a task of fear. Well, you brought them safely through it, when not every man could do it, And your passengers, my Captain, are inspired with gratitude. Therefore, _Mr. Punch_ thus thanks you, and right readily enranks you, As a hero on the record of our briny island brood. Verily the choice of "_Paris_" in this case proved right; and rare is Fitness between name and nature such as that _you_ illustrate. Captain SHARP! A proper _nomen_, and it proved a prosperous omen To your passengers, whom _Punch_ must on their luck congratulate. * * * * * ON BOARD THE CHANNEL STEAMER "PARIS" (_Night of Saturday, January 25, 1890_).--"SHARP'S the word!" * * * * * [Illustration: NOTHING LIKE A CHANGE! _Dr. Cockshure._ "MY GOOD SIR, WHAT _YOU_ WANT IS THOROUGH ALTERATION OF CLIMATE. THE ONLY THING TO CURE _YOU_ IS A LONG SEA VOYAGE!" _Patient._ "THAT'S RATHER INCONVENIENT. YOU SEE I'M ONLY JUST HOME FROM A SEA VOYAGE ROUND THE WORLD!"] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. The title of the second chapter of _The Days of the Dandies_, in _Blackwood_, is calculated to excite curiosity,--it is, "Some Great Beauties, and some Social Celebrities." After reading the article, I think it would have been styled more correctly, "A Few Great Beauties." However, it is discursively amusing and interesting. There is much truth in the paper on Modern Mannish Maidens. I hold that no number of a Magazine is perfect without a tale of mystery and wonder, or a ghost-story of some sort. I hope I have not overlooked one of these in any Magazine for this month that I have seen. Last month there was a good one in _Macmillan_, and another in _Belgravia_. I forget their titles, unfortunately, and have mislaid the Magazines. But _After-thoughts_, in this month's _Macmillan_, is well worth perusal. [Illustration: ]