Would it not have rejoiced the heart Of her stout sire, the brave Professor? AGNETA RAMSAY made good start, But here's a shining she-successor! Many a male who failed to pass Will hear it with flushed face and jaw set. But _Mr. Punch_ brims high his glass, And drinks your health, Miss P. G. FAWCETT! * * * * * TAKEN FROM THE FRENCH PLAYS. SCENE--_Her Majesty's Theatre._ _Enter_ Mr. _and_ Mrs. BROWN. _Brown_ (_to_ Boxkeeper, _with the air of a Sovereign conferring an Order upon a faithful subject_). There's sixpence for a programme. _Boxkeeper._ Very sorry, Sir, but it isn't a programme; it's a Book of the Argument, and we have to pay _that_ for it ourselves! _Brown_ (_resenting the information_). Oh, bother! Then I'll do without it. _Mrs. Brown_ (_annoyed_). Why didn't you get a book? You know we'll never understand it without one. _Brown._ Nonsense, my dear! It's a distinct advantage to trust to one's own resources. [_Curtain goes up, and discovers a number of male characters, who come on and go off severally._ _Mrs. Brown._ What are they talking about? _Brown._ Oh, all sorts of things. (_Enter_ Mlle. DARLAUD, as Lydie Vaillant.) Ah! you see this is the heroine. _Mrs. Brown._ Is it? (_Examining her through opera-glass._) Very simple frock. I think I shall have one like it. _Brown_ (_dreading a dress-maker invasion_). Oh, it wouldn't suit you at all. You always look better in silks and satins. [_Entr'acte over._ _Second Act_, Madame PASCA appears, _and is admirable_. _Mrs. Brown_ (_deeply interested_). CHARLEY, dear, she's wearing Russian net, and you know you can get it at---- _Brown_ (_hurriedly_). Hush, you are disturbing everybody. _Mrs. Brown_ (_at end of Second Act_). What was it all about? _Brown._ Oh, didn't you see. It was a castle, and a number of tourists were shown round the pictures by an old servant. Excellent! _Mrs. Brown._ I do so wish you would get a book. _Brown._ Oh, we can do without it now--the piece is nearly over. [_Third Act is played, and Curtain falls._ _Mrs. Brown._ Well, what was _that_ about? _Brown._ Oh, didn't you see they had breakfast--and with tea too, not with wine. Very strange how English customs are spreading. [_Tableau I. of Act III. is played. Considerable applause._ _Mrs. Brown._ I don't quite understand _that_. _Brown._ You don't! Why, it's as simple as possible. _Paul Astier_ arrived late, and dressed for dinner. Excellent! _Mrs. Brown._ But what's the plot? _Brown._ Oh, _that's_ of secondary importance--the piece is a clever skit upon modern manners! (_Tableau II. is played._) Capital! Wasn't MADAME PASCA good when she wanted a glass of water? _Mrs. Brown._ Quite too perfect! And her velvet and satin gown was absolutely lovely! (_With determination._) I shall get one like it! _Brown_ (_alarmed_). I am not so sure! You look better in muslins.