The costume of the _'ome team_, of which I was the General, consisting, as it did, of "knickerbockerres" of pink velvet, jerseys of green and yellow satin in stripes, padded in front and behind, as a protection from _les coups de les "stickes,"_ with large feather pillows, and 'igh jack-boots, worn with the same motive, completed, together with a massive iron and wire mask, surmounted with a funereal plume, used to safeguard the head and neck, a costume at once striking and useful. The strangers were, perhaps, not quite so happily arranged, their legs being encased in chain-armour, and their bodies protected by large wicker clothes-washing-baskets; but, though this precautionary costume hampered in some respect the play of their arms, and impeded their swiftness in making "le rush," still, the hardest blow of the death-dealing "stickes" fell on them without pain, and they could meet the approach of the terrible iron-lead ball without the apprehensive tremblings of terror. The contest, though fierce, was not of long duration, for, after the ninth goal, the iron-lead ball was driven with such furious _élan_ by the victorious side that it dashed into the middle of the spectators, and was swallowed, in the excitement, by the startled horse of an omnibus. Thereupon the Umpire, being appealed to, decided the contest terminated with victory, by three goals to nothing, to the 'ome team, and amidst the prolonged "hurrahs" of the assembled thousands, who represented all the _élite_ of the veritable 'igh and Sporting life of the best Parisian Society, the first day's _stick-balle_ fight that has now introduced "Le 'Ockey" into the arena of our rising National Athletics, came to a brilliant and inspiriting end. I beg you, _Mon cher Monsieur Punch_, be assured of my highest considerations, as I subscribe myself your very humble _serviteur_, THE FIRST CHAMPION OF LES SPORTS. * * * * * DEFINITIONS. _Mater._--One who finds _mates_ for her daughters. _Check Mate._--A husband with money. * * * * * MRS. R. says:--"My nephew, who has just returned from a long voyage, tells me that in the Red Sea it is so hot that the gentlemen sleep on deck in their bananas." * * * * * [Illustration: ONE TOO MANY FOR HIM. SIGNOR W. H. SMITHINI (_sotto voce_). "WISH I COULD HAVE KEPT 'EM ALL THREE ABREAST, JUST FOR THE LOOK OF THE THING!"] * * * * * [Illustration: HINTS FOR THE PARK. DON'T TRY TO TURN YOUR TANDEM AT THE TROT, PARTICULARLY IF YOUR LEADER IS OF A SOMEWHAT WILFUL DISPOSITION.] * * * * * AFTER "THE MAY." _A Cambridge Song of June._