OUT and alas! The "May" is o'er; The polish of the ball-room floor Is streaked and marred by heedless feet, The pretty convoys in the street Stir no more envy, nor make proud The escort of the dainty crowd. No more the archway dark and grim, No more the tortuous staircase dim Wake to a glow of living light, When JONES'S sisters, like a flight Of tuneful birds in plumage gay Come into College, in the May. The little girl in grey is gone, Who like a silvery marsh-flower shone What time the long and strenuous train Of eights round Grassy pulled amain. Gone is the musical low voice That made the general heart rejoice, Mazing prim scholars with her wit, Or chattering simply, not a bit Above the sporting schoolboy's range. At that grave dinner, for a change, With just as flattering a charm, She took the formal Tutor's arm, With sparkling eyes, that scattered light On the dark Don's self-centred night. Bare are the windows, flowering then, The cynosure of lingering men, Whence over the darkling court would float The chorus of the College boat; Not shouted with the tuneless zeal Which tells how Undergraduates feel; But by such sweet girl-voices given As might the strictest "gates" have riven, Drawn iron tears down Tutors' cheek, And made Deans grant what loafers seek. And listening oarsmen softly swore To pull as men ne'er pulled before, And, let the next boat do its worst, To make to-morrow's bump, or burst. Out, and alas! May follows May, And other little girls in grey, With hair as bright and eyes as blue, Will hold the torch, pass'd on by you, And none the bygone years recall; For even this May's College pride Will be as dead as flowers that died At some forgotten festival. * * * * * RATHER SHIFTY.--"The Members of the Metropolitan Police Force," the Memorial stated, as quoted in the _Times_ of June 13, urged the Government to concede, among other demands, this, which sounds peculiar:-- "Duty to consist of eight hours (in one shift) out of _every_ twenty-four." The words in brackets are a puzzle. Is "shift" a misprint for "shirt"? Is a Policeman now compelled to wear more than one of these in every twenty-four hours? Is it flannel or linen? We confess that we do not understand this, which we may fairly designate as "The Washerwoman's Clause." * * * * * PEREGRINUS JOCOSUS writes thus:--"Sir,--I was visiting Tintern Abbey. Admission is by a gateway, close to which is an instruction to ring the bell. How much simpler and pleasanter if the proprietor had written up, 'Tinternabbeylate!'--Yours, much pleased, P. J." * * * * * ON ARMY EXAMS.--As long as Examinations are what they are, cramming is a necessity. Therefore, _Mr. Punch_ has only one retort to present objections to cramming, and that is--"Stuff!" * * * * *