Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, June 28 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, June 28 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
That exceedingly probable. FERGUSSON'S floundering when momentarily
adrift from sheet-anchor of his written reply decidedly painful.
Prince ARTHUR saunters up to very mouth of guns of battery opened on
him from Irish camp; looks straight down them; fires his shot; and
saunters back; often a nasty shot, too; plumps in middle of camp and
sets them all a roaring. This takes place every night. To-night lasted
an hour. Once threatened repetition of scenes of decade after '74.
Would have so happened but for tact and presence of mind of SPEAKER;
cool and collected amid the clash of arms and roar of constant
cannonading. JOHN DILLON standing with folded arms and flashing eyes,
"Like NAPOLEON when he couldn't cross the Alps," said NICHOLAS WOOD,
looking on from a safe distance.
The SPEAKER also on his feet with stern cry of "Order! Order!" Long
JOHN O'CONNOR sitting on Bench below, darting straight up and down,
with swift regular movement, for all the world like the piston of a
steam-engine. Ministerialists bellowing in continuous roar at JOHN
DILLON, still on his feet; uprises JOHN O'CONNOR with intent to
offer observation; roar redoubled; reaches demoniac proportions; JOHN
O'CONNOR plops down again; noise partially subsides; suddenly the
piston discovered bolt upright; another roar; down it goes; all the
while the SPEAKER crying aloud for "Order!" and JOHN DILLON standing
with fiercer frown and arms more tightly folded.
"What was it NAPOLEON said when he couldn't cross the Alps?" NICHOLAS
whispered, tremulously. "'If the Alps won't come to MAHOMET, MAHOMET
must go to the Alps.' No, I don't think it was quite that; but was
something to that effect; and I'm sure something will happen if DILLON
doesn't sit down."
Just when matters reaching crisis, DILLON gave way; the piston on
the bench below simultaneously ceased its action; and the SPEAKER, in
quiet, grave tones, that had immediately soothing effect, suggested
that, if any more information was required, it should be sought in the
usual way, by Questions placed on the Paper. JOHNSTON o' Ballykilbeg,
who had overheard GILL incidentally allude to Prince ARTHUR as prone
to untruth, wanted the SPEAKER to take notice of irregularity. But
SPEAKER judiciously deaf. As for JOHN O'CONNOR, glad of a little rest.
"All I wanted, TOBY," he explained, "was to hurl the word 'Crime' in
BALFOUR'S teeth."
"Exactly," I said; "nothing more natural or desirable. But you should
tone down the tendency towards the steam-engine-piston action, for
which, I do not deny, you possess some natural advantages."
_Business done._--In Committee on Compensation Bill.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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