[3] The nautical mode of writing--"Oh! come to me."--PRINTER'S DEVIL. _2 o'clock._--Bell rung for all hands to come down to dinner. Thought I never saw dirtier hands in my life. They call their dinner "a mess" on broad ship, and a preshious mess it did look--no bread but hard biskit and plenty of ship's _rolls_, besides biled pork and P-soop--both these articles seemed rayther queer--felt my stommick growing quear too--got on deck, and asked where we were--was told we were in the Straits of Dover. I never was in such dreadful straits in my life--ship leaning very much on one side, which made me feel like a man [Illustration: GOING OFF IN A RAPID DECLINE.] _3 o'clock._--Weather getting rather worse than better. Mind very uneasy. Capting says we shall have plenty of squalls to-night; and I heard him just now tell the mate to look to the main shrouds, so I spose it's all dickey with us, and that this log will be my sad epilog. The idear of being made fish meat was so orrible to my sensitive mind, that I couldn't refrain from weaping, which made the capting send me down stairs, to vent my sorros in the cable _tiers_. _5 o'clock._--I'm sure we shan't srwive this night, therefore I av determined to put my heavy log into an M T rum-bottle, and throw it overbord, in bops it may be pickd up by some pirson who will bare my sad tail to my dear Sally. And now I conclewd with this short advice:--Let awl yung men take warning by my crewel fate. Let them avide bad kumpany and keep out of the Palass; and above all, let them mind their bissnesses on dri land, and never cast their fortunes on any _main_, like their unfortinet Servant, THE BOY JONES. * * * * * [Illustration] THE TWO MACBETHS. OR THE HAY MARKET GEMINI. O, Gemini- Crimini! Nimini- Pimini Representatives of the Tartan hero, Who wildly tear a passion into rags More ragged than the hags That round about the cauldron go! Murderers! who murder Shakspeare so, That 'stead of murdering sleep, ye do not do it; But, _vice versa_, send the audience to it. And, oh!-- But no-- Illustrious Mac- Beth, or -ready, And thou, small quack, Of plaudits greedy! Our pen, deserted by the tuneful Muses, To write on such a barren theme refuses. * * * * * THEATRE ROYAL, DRURY LANE, POLITICAL PROMENADE AND CONSERVATIVE CONCERTS. The most splendid night of the season! Friday, the 20th of August. CAPTAIN ROUS'S NIGHT! British Champagne and the British Constitution!--The Church, the State, and Real Turtle!