The performances will commence with FISH OUT OF WATER, Sam Savory--Captain Rous, R.N. After which, HIS FIRST CHAMPAGNE; Which will embrace the whole strength of THE STEWARDS. In the course of the Evening, the ENLIGHTENED LICENSED VICTUALLERS, (Those zealous admirers of _true British spirit_) will parade the room amid A GRAND DISPLAY OF ELECTION ACCOUNTS. To be followed by a GRAND PANTOMIME, called HARLEQUIN HUMBUG; OR, BRAVO ROUS! OLD GLORY (afterwards Pantaloon) SIR F. BURDETT, who has kindly offered his services on this occasion. HARRY HUMBUG (a true British Sailor, afterwards Harlequin), CAPT. ROUS. DON WHISKERANDOS (afterwards Clown), COL. SIBTHORPE. The whole to conclude with a grand _melange_ of HATS, COATS, AND UMBRELLAS. TICKETS TO BE HAD AT ANY PRICE. Stretchers to be at the doors at half-past 2, and policemen to take up with their heads towards Bow-street. VIVAT REGINA. * * * * * THE ADVANTAGES OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM. The experiments of M. Delafontaine having again raised an outcry against this noble science, from the apparent absence of any benefit likely to arise from it, beyond converting human beings into pincushions and galvanic dummies. We, who look deeper into things than the generality of the world, hail it as an inestimable boon to mankind, and proceed at once to answer the numerous enquirers as to the _cui bono_ of this novel soporific. By a judicious application of the mesmeric fluid, the greatest domestic comfort can be insured at the least possible trouble. The happiest Benedict is too well aware that ladies will occasionally exercise their tongues in a way not altogether compatible with marital ideas of quietude. A few passes of the hand ("in the way of kindness for he who would," &c. _vide_ Tobin) will now silence the most powerful oral battery; and Tacitus himself might, with the aid of mesmerism, pitch his study in a milliner's work-room. Hen-pecked husbands have now other means at their command, to secure quiet, than their razors and their garters. We have experimentalised upon our Judy, and find it answer to a miracle. Mrs. Johnson may shut up her laboratory for American Soothing Syrup; mesmerism is the only panacea for those morning and evening infantile ebullitions which affectionate mammas always assign to the teeth, the wind, or a pain in the stomach, and never to that possible cause, a pain in the temper. Mesmerism is "the real blessing to mothers," and Elliotson the Mrs. Johnson of the day. We have tried it upon our Punchininny, and find it superior to our old practice of throwing him out of the window.