Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
crusted Port. He who voteth for Bretts British Brandy, or Electors
real French Cognac. He who voteth for quassia, molasses, copperas,
coculus Indicus, Spanish juice, or Electors Extra Double Stout. 2nd. He
that is bribed INDIRECTLY, as He who is promised a government contract
for wax, wafers, or the like. He who getteth a contract, for paupers
clothing, building unions, and the like. He who furnisheth the
barouches-and-four for the independent 40s. freeholders. He who is
presented with cigars, snuffs, meerschaum-pipes, haunches of venison,
Stilton-cheeses, fresh pork, pine-apples, early peas, and the like. 2nd.
He that is INTIMIDATED, as By his landlord, who soliciteth back rent, or
giveth him notice to quit. By his patron, who sayeth they of the
opposite politics cannot be trusted. By his master, who sayeth he
keepeth no viper of an opposite opinion in his employ. By his wife, who
will have her own way in hysterics. By his intended bride, who talketh
of men of spirit and Gretna Green. By a rich customer, who sendeth back
his goods, and biddeth him be dd. 3rd. He that is VOLUNTARILY CORRUPT,
which may be considered as He who voteth from the hope that his party
will provide him a place. He who voteth to please one who can leave him
a legacy. He who voteth to get into genteel society. He who voteth
according as he hath taken the odds. He who, being a schoolmaster,
voteth for the candidate with a large family. He who voteth in hopes
posterity may think him a patriot. 2nd. He that voteth CONSCIENTIOUSLY,
which is divisible into 1st. He that voteth according to HUMBUG, which
is divisible into 1st. He that is POLITICALLY humbugged, which is
divisible into 1st. He has SOME BRAINS, as He who believeth taxes will
be taken off. He who believeth wages will be raised. He who thinketh
trade will be increased. He who studieth political economy. He who
readeth newspapers, reviews, and magazines, and listeneth to lectures,
and the like. 2nd. He that has NO BRAINS, as He who voteth to support
the glorious Constitution, and maintain the envy of surrounding
nations. He who believeth the less the taxation the greater the
revenue. He who attendeth the Crown and Anchor meetings, and the like.
2nd. He that is MORALLY humbugged, as He who thinketh the Millennium and
the Rads will come in together. He who thinketh that the Whigs are
patriots. That the Tories love the poor. That the member troubleth
himself solely for the good of his country. That the unions are popular
with the paupers, and the like. 3rd. He that is DOMESTICALLY humbugged,
as He who voteth because the candidates ribbons suit his wifes
complexion. Because his wife was addressed as his daughter by the
canvasser. Because his wife had the candidates carriage to make calls
in, and the like. Because his daughter was presented with a set of the
Prince Albert Quadrilles. Because the candidate promised to stand
godfather to his last infant, and the like. 2nd. He that voteth
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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