Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
There goes the hammer again! (Rubins has a sinecure compared to that
fat man). A glee, gents!a glee!Ah! there they arethree coatsthree
collarsHeaven knows how many buttons!three bald heads, three stout
stomachs, three mouths, stuffed with three tuning-forks, nodding and
conferring with a degree of mystery worthy of three Guy Faux.What is
the subject?
Hail smilig born.
Thats a good guess! By the way, the vulgar notion of singing ensemble
is totally exploded by these gentryeach professional singer, as a
professional singer, sings his very loudest, in justice to himself; if
his brethren want physical power, thats no fault of his, he dont.
Professional singers indulge in small portions of classic lore: among
the necessary acquirements is, Non nobis, &c. &c.; that is, they
consider they ought to know the airs. The words are generally delivered
as follows:Dondobisdobyde. A clear enunciation is not much
cultivated among the clever in this line.
In addition to the few particulars above, it may be as well to mention,
they treat all tavern-waiters with great respect, which is more
Christian-like, as the said waiters never return the samesit anywhere,
just to accommodateeat everything, to prove they have no squeamish
partialitiesknow to a toothful what a bottom of brandy should bethe
exact quantity they may drink, free gratis, and the most likely victim
to drop upon for any further nourishment they may require. Their
acquirements in the musical world are rendered clear, by the important
information that Harry Phillips knows what hes aboutWeber was up to
a thing or two. A baritone aint the sort of thing for tenor music: and
when they sung with some man (nobody ever heard of), they showed him the
difference, and wouldnt mindA cigar? Thank you, sir!seldom
smokeput it in my pocket(aside) that makes a dozen! Your good health,
sir!dont dislike cold, though I generally take it warmdidnt mean
that as a hint, but, since you have ordered it, Ill give you a
toastHeresTHE PROFESSIONAL SINGER!
FUSBOS.
AN AN-TEA ANACREONTIC. ??S ?? ???? ?????. Bards of old have sung the
vine
Such a theme shall neer be mine;
Weaker strains to me belong,
Pæans sung to thee, Souchong!
What though I may never sip
Rubies from my tea-cups lip;
Do not milky pearls combine
In this steaming cup of mine?
What though round my youthful brow
I neer twine the myrtles bough?
For such wreaths my soul neer grieves.
Whilst I own my Twankays leaves.
Though for me no altar burns,
Kettles boil and bubbleurns
In each fane, where I adore
What should mortal ask for more!
I for Pidding, Bacchus fly,
Howqua shall my cup supply;
Ill neer ask for amphoræ,
Whilst my tea-pot yields me tea.
Then, perchance, above my grave,
Blooming Hyson sprigs may wave;
And some stately sugar-cane,
There may spring to life again:
Bright-eyed maidens then may meet,
To quaff the herb and suck the sweet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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