"Very well," says I, "I'll be off at once; so put me by a bone or two for supper, should any come out while I'm gone; and if you can get the puppies to sleep before I return, I shall be so much obleeged to you." Saying which, I toddled off for Wellington-street. I had just got to the coach-stand at Hyde Park Corner, when who should I see labelled as a waterman but the one-eyed chap we once had as a orchestra--he as could only play "Jim Crow" and the "Soldier Tired." Thinks I, I may as well pass the compliment of the day with him; so I creeps under the hackney-coach he was standing alongside on, intending to surprise him; but just as I was about to pop out he ran off the stand to un-nosebag a cab-horse. Whilst I was waiting for him to come back, I hears the off-side horse in the wehicle make the following remark:-- OFF-SIDE HORSE--(_twisting his tail about like anything_)--Curse the flies! NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--You may say that. I've had one fellow tickling me this half-hour. OFF-SIDE HORSE.--Ours is a horrid profession! Phew! the sun actually penetrates my vertebra. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Werterbee! What's that? OFF-SIDE HORSE--(_impatiently_).--The spine, my friend (_whish! whish!_) NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Ah! it is a shameful thing to _dock_ us as they does. If the marrow in one's backbone should melt, it would be sartin to run out at the tip of one's tail. I say, how's your _feed?_ OFF-SIDE HORSE.--Very indifferent--the chaff predominates--(_munch_) not _bene_ by any means. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Beany! Lord bless your ignorance! I should be satisfied if they'd only make it _oaty_ now and then. How long have you been in the hackney line? OFF-SIDE HORSE.--I have occupied my present degraded position about two years. Little thought my poor mama, when I was foaled, that I should ever come to this. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Ah! it ain't very respectable, is it?--especially since the cabs and busses have druv over our heads. What was you put to?--you look as if you had been well brought up. OFF-SIDE HORSE.--My mama was own sister to _Lottery_, but unfortunately married a horse much below her in pedigree. I was the produce of that union. At five years old I entered the army under Ensign Dashard. NEAR-SIDE HORSE--Bless me, how odd! I was bought at Horncastle, to serve in the dragoons; but the wetternary man found out I'd a splint, and wouldn't have me! I say, ain't that stout woman with a fat family looking at us? OFF-SIDE HORSE.--I'm afraid she is. People of her grade in society are always partial to a dilatory shillingworth. NEAR-SIDE HORSE--Ay, and always lives up Snow-hill, or Ludgate-hill, or Mutton-hill, or a _hill_ somewhere. WOMAN.--Coach! NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--She's ahailing us! I wonder whether she's narvous? I'll let out with my hind leg a bit--(_kick_)--O Lord! the rheumatiz! OFF-SIDE HORSE.--Pray don't. I abjure subterfuges; they are unworthy of a thoroughbred.