NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Thoroughbred? I like that! Haven't you just acknowledged that you were a cocktail? Thank God! she's moving on. Hallo! there's old Readypenny!--a willanous Tory. OFF-SIDE HORSE.--I beg to remark that my principles are Conservative. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--And I beg to remark that mine isn't. I sarved Readypenny out at Westminster 'lection the other day. He got into our coach to go to the poll, and I wouldn't draw an inch. I warn't agoing to take up a plumper for Rous. OFF-SIDE HORSE.--I declare the obese female returns. WOMAN.--Coach! Hallo! Coach! WATERMAN.--Here you is, ma'am. Kuck! kuck! kuck!--Come along!--(_Pulling the coach and horses_). OFF-SIDE HORSE.--O heavens! I am too stiff to move, and this brute will pull my head off. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Keep it on one side, and you spiles his purchase. WATERMAN--Come up, you old brute! OFF-SIDE HORSE.--Old brute! What evidence of a low mind!--[_The stout woman and fat family ascend the steps of the coach_]. COACH.--O law! oh, law! Week! week! O law!--O law! Week! week! NEAR-SIDE HORSE--Do you hear how the poor old thing's a sufferin'?--She must feel it a good deal to have her squabs sat on by everybody as can pay for her. She was built by Pearce, of Long-acre, for the Duchess of Dorsetshire. I wonder her perch don't break--she has been crazy a long time. WATERMAN.--Snow-hill--opposite the Saracen's Head. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--I know'd it! COACHMAN.--Kuck! kuck! WHIP.--Whack! whack! OFF-SIDE HORSE.--Pull away, my dear fellow; a little extra exertion may save us from flagellation. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Well, I'm pulling, ain't I? OFF-SIDE HORSE.--I don't like to dispute your word; but--(_whack_)--Oh! that was an abrasion on my shoulder. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--A _raw_ you mean. Who's not pulling now, I should like to know! OFF-SIDE HORSE.--I couldn't help hopping then; you know what a _grease_ I have in my hind leg. NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Well, haven't I a splint and a corn, and ain't one of my fore fetlocks got a formoses, and my hind legs the stringhalt? WOMAN.--Stop! stop! COACHMAN.--Whoo up!--d--n you! OFF-SIDE HORSE.--There goes my last masticator! NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--And I'm blow'd if he hasn't jerked my head so that he's given me a crick in the neck; but never mind; if she does get out here, we shall save the hill. WOMAN.--Three doors higher up. COACHMAN.--Chuck! chuck! WHIP.--Whack! whack! COACHMAN.--Come up, you varmint! OFF-SIDE HORSE--Varmint! and to me! the nephew of the great Lottery! O Pegasus! what shall I come to next! NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Alamode beef, may be, or perhaps pork sassages! * * * * * The old woman was so long in that house where she stopped, that I was obleeged to toddle home, for my wife has a rather unpleasant way of taking me by the scruff of my neck if I ain't pretty regular in my hours. Yours, werry obediently, TOBY. * * * * * COURT CIRCULAR.