Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, July 17, 1841 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, July 17, 1841Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, July 17, 1841
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
3rd. He that hath A VOTE AND VOTETH; which is divisible into
1st. He that voteth INTENTIONALLY, which is divisible into
1st. He that voteth CORRUPTLY, which is divisible into
1st. He that is BRIBED, which is divisible into
1st. He that is bribed DIRECTLY, which is divisible into
1st. He that receiveth MONEY, which may be considered as
1. He that pretendeth the money is due to him.
2. He that pretendeth it is lent.
3. He who receiveth it as alms.
4. He who receiveth it as the price of a venerated
tobacco-pipe, a piece of Irish bacon, and the like.
2nd. He that seeketh PLACE, which may be considered as
1. He who asketh for a high situation, as a judgeship in
Botany Bay, or a bishopric in Sierra Leone, and the like.
2. He who asketh for a low situation, as a ticket-porter,
curate, and the like.
3. He who asketh for any situation he can get, as Secretary
to the Admiralty, policeman, revising barrister, turnkey,
chaplain, mail-coach guard, and the like.
3rd. He that taketh DRINK, which may be considered as
1. He that voteth for Walker's Gooseberry, or Elector's
Sparkling Champagne.
2. For sloe-juice, or Elector's fine old crusted Port.
3. He who voteth for Brett's British Brandy, or Elector's
real French Cognac.
4. He who voteth for quassia, molasses, copperas, _coculus
Indicus_, Spanish juice, or Elector's Extra Double Stout.
2nd. He that is bribed INDIRECTLY, as
1. He who is promised a government contract for wax, wafers,
or the like.
2. He who getteth a contract, for paupers' clothing, building
unions, and the like.
3. He who furnisheth the barouches-and-four for the independent
40s. freeholders.
4. He who is presented with cigars, snuffs, meerschaum-pipes,
haunches of venison, Stilton-cheeses, fresh pork,
pine-apples, early peas, and the like.
2nd. He that is INTIMIDATED, as
1. By his landlord, who soliciteth back rent, or giveth him notice
to quit.
2. By his patron, who sayeth they of the opposite politics cannot
be trusted.
3. By his master, who sayeth he keepeth no viper of an opposite
opinion in his employ.
4. By his wife, who will have her own way in hysterics.
5. By his intended bride, who talketh of men of spirit and
Gretna Green.
6. By a rich customer, who sendeth back his goods, and biddeth
him be d--d.
3rd. He that is VOLUNTARILY CORRUPT, which may be considered as
1. He who voteth from the hope that his party will provide him
a place.
2.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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