_A._ A narrow place that joins two continents together, as _Temple bar_, which joins _Westminster_ to the _City_. _Q._ How is the Thames water divided? _A._ Morally speaking, it is divided into river water, pipe water, and gin-and-water. _Q._ Where is river water found? _A._ Anywhere between Vauxhall and London Bridges. It is inhabited principally by flounders and bargemen. _Q._ What is pipe water? _A._ An intermitting stream, having its source at some distant basin. It usually runs into a cistern, until the water-rates get into arrear, when the supply ceases through the intervention of a turncock. _Q._ Where is gin-and-water to be found? _A._ All over the world; but especially in the vicinity of a cab-stand. _Q._ In what other manner is the Thames water divided? _A._ Physically speaking, into oceans, seas, gulfs, bays, straits, lakes and rivers. _Q._ What is an ocean? _A._ Any great body of water whose limits it is impossible to describe, as _The Floating Bath_ at Southwark-bridge, and _The Real Tank_ at the Adelphi Theatre. _Q._ What is a sea? _A._ Any small collection of water, as at Chel_sea_, Batter_sea._ _Q._ What is a gulf? _A._ A gulf is any place, the greater part of which is surrounded by lawyers, as _Lincoln's Inn,--The Court of Chancery_. _Q._ What is a haven? _A._ A commodious harbour, where people lie at anchor in perfect security, as _The Queen's Bench,--The Fleet_, the sight of which is [Illustration: ENOUGH TO TURN ONE'S HEAD.] _Q._ What is a strait? _A._ A strait is a narrow passage which connects two broad principles as _Wakley's Straits_, which join Radicalism and Conservatism. _Q._ What is a lake? _A._ A lake is any small portion of Honesty, entirely surrounded by Self, as _Peel's Politics_. _Q._ What is a river? _A._ A river is a Tax-stream which rises from the Treasury, and runs into the pockets of the Ministerial party. The People are _the source_ of the stream--the Ministry is _the mouth_. When the mouth is very wide, it is called a _Tory mouth_. The _right_ or _left_ banks of a Tax stream are the _Treasury_ or _Opposition benches_, to the right or left of the Speaker when he has his back to the source. _Q._ How are tax streams divided? _A._ Into _salaries_ and _pensions_. _Q._ What is _a conflux_? _A._ Any place where two or more salaries or pensions are united, as The Duke's breeches-pocket. _Q._ Is there any other peculiarity attending a tax stream? _A._ Yes. _Radicalism_ is that part of a stream nearest to its _source_; _Toryism_ that part nearest to its _mouth_. * * * * * SPARKS FROM THE FIRE. ALL IS NOT LOST.