So to my tale: Te-pott the Multifarious Was, once upon a time, a mandarin-- In personal appearance but precarious, Being incorrigibly bald and thin-- But then so rich, through jobs and pensions various, Obtain'd by voting with the party "in," That he maintain'd, in grace and honour too, Sixty-five years, and spouses fifty-two. Fifty-two wives! and still he went about Peering below the maiden ladies' veils-- Indeed, it _was_ said (but there hangs a doubt Of scandal on such gossip-whisper'd tales), He had a good one still to single out-- For all his wives had tongues, and _some_ had nails-- And still he hoped, though fifty-twice deferr'd, To find an angel in his fifty-third. In China, mind, and such outlandish places, A gentleman who wishes to be wed Looks round about among the pretty faces, Nor for a moment doubts they may be had For asking; and if any of them "nay" says, He has his remedy as soon as said-- For, when the bridegrooms disapprove what they do, They teach them manners with the bastinado. Near Te-pott's palace lived an old Chinese-- About as poor a man as could be known In lands where guardians leave them to their ease, Nor pen the poor up in bastilles of stone: He got a livelihood by picking teas; And of possessions worldly had but one-- But one--the which, the reader must be told, Was a fair daughter seventeen years old. She was a lovely little girl, and one To charm the wits of both the high and _the_ low; And Te-pott's ancient heart was lost and won In less time than 'twould take my pen to tell how: So, as he was quite an experienced son- In-law, and, too, a very wily fellow, To make Hy-son his friend was no hard matter, I Ween, with that specific for parents--flattery. But, when they two had settled all between Themselves, and Te-pott thought that he had caught her, He found how premature his hopes had been Without the approbation of the daughter-- Who talk'd with voice so loud and wit so keen, That he thought all his Mrs. T's had taught her; And, finding he was in the way there rather, He left her to be lectured by her father. "Pray, what were women made for" (so she said, Though Heaven forbid I join such tender saying), "If they to be accounted are as dead, And strangled if they ever are caught straying? Tis well to give us diamonds for the head, And silken gauds for festival arraying; But where of dress or diamonds is the use If we mayn't go and show them? that's the deuce!" The father answer'd, much as fathers do In cases of like nature here in Britain, Where fathers seldom let fortunes slip through Their fingers, when they think that they can get one; He said a many things extremely true-- Proving that girls are fine things to be quit on, And that, could she accommodate her views to it, She would find marriage very nice when used to it.